kevin

[#1]

my partner is 44yo we have a 5yo and i am so scared about what is about to happen.every one says positive thinking but i always prepare for the worst it helps me cope instead of that massive let down.he started off with a bit of a sore throat and then had a few lumps said he was going deaf had indigestion which he thought was from the drinking had some nose bleeds which stopped for a little while then the lumps started to get worse on the side of his face. went for tests and last friday biopsy came back negitive for the lumps in the lymph nodes and one was 3cm big.but he was tired and bleeding started and his eye was getting big so to the hospital we went.blood tests came back ok but the ct scan showed cancer behind the nose and was aggressive.at least knowing he was in the hospital was a relief he was getting seen to and it wasnt taking several weeks to get in to see specialist.he had radiation today so now just wait to see drs.i am going through a roller coaster as i am hoping that he is going to be fine but then he is so weak and sick.the cancer is at the stem of the brain already so i just pray the treatment will work.

[Mrs_Elton]

Hi Paulac, I'm sorry to hear of your partner's diagnosis. This is a hugely stressful time for your family. I too am a person who needs to consider/prepare for the worst, it is definitely a coping mechanism. Visit the 'idea' of worst case scenario and then try not to let it be what you focus on. I KNOW it is HARD and it will never totally escape your mind........the thing is, you are going to need to reserve as much energy (mental, emotional as well as physical) as you can, to get through each day, particulary for your son, as well as for your partner and of course yourself. Dealing with what is happening on a daily basis will be draining enough without using energy on the 'what if'. One of the hardest aspects I have found when a loved one has cancer, it may be in their body, but it is also in the 'lives' of everyone they love. We yearn for control, but there is no control when it comes to cancer. It sucks. Use this website to offload, friends and family are well-meaning and try their best to be supportive and accept all the help they offer.....a huge thing......the reality is, unless they have been through it themselves it is impossible for them to understand how this has affected your WHOLE WORLD. People on this site are living what you are living, the circumstances may be a little different but the emotions are very similar. Fear, anxiety, fatigue, anger, frustration.... the list goes on. The 'positive thinking' line that you are going to hear over and over and over.........we all know how 'unhelpful' that is. If you have a friend/family member that you can talk to 'warts and all' then by all means do that AND write hear as often as you need to, your thoughts/fears/questions etc etc, just getting them out of your head can be a relief AND the bonus is that for those times when sleep is eluding you and yet it is 'not appropriate' to phone someone in the middle of the night...this site is here 24/7. Remember that you can call the Cancer helpline anytime also and use what ever resources are available to you, if you're not sure what they might be, talk to the nurses at the hospital, find out if there is a social worker available. You may be eligible for a payment from Centrelink, Carers allowance and/or carer's payment, your partner may be eligible for a disability pension. Investigate this, it is daunting I know, by contacting Centrelink to advise them it may be a possiblity, they record the date of notification and then may be able to start payments from that date. I've said enough, I'm sorry if it has been overwhelming, I found most things were once my husband was diagnosed. I wish you and your family strength as you face this challenge together. Kind regards, Mrs Elton

[#3]

thank you mrs elton for your words. Kevin has been moved now to the radiation unit at liverpool in his own room and was in a good mood until he was told that he would be moved to camden as he has a cold that they found from xrays this is what the nurse had said.so far no one has contacted me to tell me anything apart from the phone that said he had cancer and was aggressive will do treatment take one day at a time. thankfully my dad came up today and is going to start sortingthings out for me about what is going on and that i get notified about anything that is happening as well as sort the legal stuff and find out what kevin wants. people have told me to get that stuff out of the way as it helps then focus on the fighting of this which i must say has taken a big chunck away now i am trying to get as much info on what is happening as well as reading other peoples stories is a big help.

[Jules2]

gees louise another spammy attempt