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those days

maddie86
January 2011
im having one of those days where u feel like the world seems like a horrible place 😞 last night my partner told me he didnt go to the sperm bank and hes not going to.. i feel like my dreams of having kids one day arnt as important to him.. i look at all my friends getting engaged, buying houses it seems so unfair that we have to deal with this right now.. i feel like half my friends dont bother talking to me anymore. I want this year to be steady, treatment seems to be working so far, but he still has surgeries and that scares me.. im sick and tired of worrying about life it seems overwheelming! 😞
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diannep52
Frequent Contributor
January 2011
Hi Maddie, Just trying to negotiate my way around this site, and came across your entry. My heart goes out to you in so much as no matter who we are, live never seems to go the way we plan it! This whole cancer 'thing' is a b*&ch, to say the least! There is an old saying 'these things are sent to test us' - and test us, they surely do. You are very young to be having to face all of this, when as you say, your friends are buying houses, getting married, etc. Your dreams are probably the same dreams that your partner had not so long ago (before cancer) - but sometimes these dreams get pushed aside because of 'bigger things' that are happening. Maybe he thinks that his cancer will be passed on to any children he may father. Have you spoken to him about this? As a past carer of my parents, and now a cancer patient myself, all I am trying to say is - sometimes life seems so cruel and insurmountable, but maybe once your partner has had his surgery and treatments, and 'things' start to run more smoothly, life should start to settle down. Dont give up on any hopes and dreams you both shared, none of us know what is around the corner. Just remember you are not alone and people on this forum HAVE been there and know what you are talking about, and WILL listen to your fears. Good luck to you!
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maddie86
Contributor
January 2011
thanks 🙂 yeah this whole thing seems so unfair.. cancer is such a horrible disease.. i guess there is a good thing about it, is it makes you a stronger person.. ive learnt to deal with a lot and i guess when im older i'l be giving ppl advice...
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