to hard to process right now....

[Shennanigans]

its 10 am here in the USA and about 4 hours ago i had a call from my big brother.... he would have only called me for one thing... to tell my my father has passed away. im not sure how to process everything right now, its not real to me yet being so far away. all i know is its going to be a long few weeks for me as i now have to get ready to return home early and i have a lot to do. he wasnt just my father... he was my best friend. and im going to miss him so much. i dont really know what else to say yet.

[sarah]

Hi Shennanigans, What can I say? Your best friend too - that is very touching. You have a long road ahead of you I believe, yes, and a strange and surreal rollercoaster ride.. Something in your post however tells me you know this already on some level. My grandmother died 10 weeks back, and then my lovely cat of 19 years died a fortnight ago - they were both complicated deaths so makes it more difficult (can Google "complicated grief"). My uncle who was my grandmother's carer, and only a year older than me is going through extraordinary grief atm, and me with my cat. Grief is a strange thing; you will come out the other side, but not without going through the depths. I am glad to hear you have a brother, and presumably other family to pull together with; it will make it more of a rich and loving experience. Or so I believe. I'm sure others here will give their thoughts and support in due time. Wish you all the best. Sarah.

[Rubes1984]

Hi shennanigans I am so sorry about ur fathers passing how difficult to be so far away. I do not have the words of comfort u need at this time. All I can do is send u warm wishes and hope ur father is at peace on the otherside. Rubes

[SILLY]

I really don't know what I can say to help . Of course your dad's pain is over but I know yours is still there ,but it will be different . You can always be sure that you did all you could to help and show your dad how much you loved him .

[Shennanigans]

thanks guys, i head home from the USA tonight. My big brother has been doing a huge amount of stuff while he gave me a few extra days here with Nick. and i really did need it. i cant imagine if i had been at home when this happened. i would have had no one to just hold me while i cried. it all still feels so un real to me and while my heart is broken i know it will get worse before it gets better. i am truly thankful his pain is over. the cancer took away so much from him... but he kept his spirit till the end. and after two rounds of radiotherapy i just hope that his fighting will is something i have inherited.