why why why

[maddie86]

hey all.. havent been on here in a while... my lovely boyfriend got diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer a bit over a year ago... had had chemo and radio (both worked well) then the big op to remove his bowel tumor.. which resulted in him having a colostomy bag... he then had an op to remove his liver mets.. i think there were two.. that worked and no evidence of the disease anywhere else... next was the lungs.. the right lung had disease but after chemo it wasnt seen on a scan... so they did his left lung and removed two mets... they took out a lymph node which was suspicious but there was no cancer in that... now when he went for his 3 monthly scan there was 3 visable spots on his right lung... so back in to hospital he goes! its just so draining watching him going through all of this.. we just want to get on with our lives.. we're both young 23 and 24.. we want to settle down and he wants to go back to work.. but we cant with all this... now what are we supposed to do? shit ourselves everytime he has a scan? his oncologist says the cancer could pop up anywhere in the body because it was an agressive type... its not fair 😞 just when we think its over.. bam! you get hit with it again! finding it very hard.. we were doing so well.. although we knew he might have to go back in we just didnt want to think about it.. feeling very blue

[SILLY]

I can't imagine what it's like when you are so young. At your age many still think they are invincible . This has been a testing time for you both .I wish you both well.

[Jules_68]

Hi Maddie, I can't imagine what you are both going through. R U OK.......do you have someone to talk to or a support group? I have found the cancer council help line to be of help. Keep blogging Maddie, talk about it, stop it going around in your mind and blog it out. Take care. Jules

[SamR]

Hi Maddie, I feel so sad for both you and your boyfriend, on such a horrible journey. I hope you have plenty of supportive family and friends around. This awful disease, is so unpredictable, it sounds as if these new tumours have been caught early on, so perhaps that is the one bit of positive news. I hope you both find the strength for this latest battle. Know that people here are thinking of you and sending healing wishes & prayers. Sam

[purpleangels]

Maddie! Long time..... Bugger Bugger Bugger! My darling husband has asked this question for the first time himself just this past month....he just wants his life (our life) back! Too many days spent in bed and not out with his family in the sun.... But! The lady down the road mowed our lawn the other day.....someone left movie tickets on my desk at work, just when you feel that it is all too much...out of the boue something happens to remind yourself that you are not alone! And we are not! It is just so hard some days to get out of bed and keep going....... I have been reading a book called the Four Agreements and another called Simple Abundance (among other books on how to housetrain/ wrangle young children...but that is a whole other story!) Even though the message may not seem relevant everyday....there are some beautiful ideas in these books to try to practice and learn from... And you can borrow them from the library for free- gotta love the free stuff at the library! Hope you get some hope again soon! Sending you purple hugs! PA

[maddie86]

thank you everyone for your kind words and comments... my family is unsupportive of me at this time.. they nag me about stupid things and dont have consideration for me.. 😞 im finding it very tough, his operation is this weds and im nervous.. i know he'l be ok i just hate not having him there, knowing he is in pain at hospital.. it really sucks big time... 😞 all my friends around me are in the prime of their lives and here is me, depressed and anxious.. i feel so negative all the time but i cant help it.. 😞

[SILLY]

Why not the give Cancer Council a call just to talk for a while. I think it will make you feel better.

[maddie86]

thanks silly i might do that.. i did do that at the start felt a tiny bit better, but i do have trouble making that call.. i feel kind of awkward calling a stranger and breaking down, but i guess it makes us human... 🙂

[SILLY]

I found when I rang one day last year that it was the first and still the only time I was able to talk about every aspect of having cancer, to one person ,in one converation. I t was one of the best things I've ever done regarding cancer.