A sad time

[Sarah14]

Hi - I am new to this site, but was wanting to share my husband's story somewhere and with others that may have had a similar experience. My husband was well and fit, and had an enlarged spleen two years ago. Doctors were baffled, but eventually believed him to have Myelofibrosis, a rare blood cancer. Things went on okay until his spleen became too big and after some oral chemo, he had his spleen removed in December 2011. After this, his health deteriorated and he was a regular visitor to hospital, often needing blood transfusions every second day, and eventually daily. Whilst waiting for a bone marrow transplant, he developed acute myeloid leukeamia. That was two months ago, and my husband sadly passed away four weeks ago as his immune system did not recover from the chemo. His journey through cancer was sad (as is everyone's) and he became very sick, a shadow of his former self. He died at home, as was his wish, as he wanted to spend his last few days with our young son, rather than seeing him for brief visits in the hospital. I am at a loss to say what this experience has been like for me, except that I am in awe of my husband's courage. He didnt complain even when very sick and in pain. It has been four weeks since he passed away, I think of him all the time and am full of regret and sadness about what might have been. My heart goes out to everyone who has lost someone to cancer.

[Rikki]

Hi Patience Thanks for sharing your story and I am very sorry to hear of the death of your husband. I imagine it is hard for you to believe and you must miss him dreadfully. Hug your son. I am sure there are people on this site who can offer you support, who have also cared for and led a partner with cancer. Take care Rikki

[maddie86]

Hi there im so sorry for your loss... My fiance is dying and is in so much pain. He is 24... Wer getting married in 2 weeks and i know hel pull himself together for the wedding. Im so angry at the situation, and i cant help but get frustrated wen he refuses to eat or drink lots of water... Hes still fighting tho, but im scared. How did you cope wen he died? Im scared that il loose it and go insane... You sound as if your keeping things together 🙂 hope you are taking care of yourself Xxx

[Sarah14]

Hi Maddie, Im sorry to hear about your fiance and hope that your wedding goes well and you have a beautiful day. When my husband died and still now, I cant believe it and feel angry but mostly just sad. Sad that he was only young and he didnt get the chance to do everything he wanted. I have a young son so I guess there is nothing else except to get on with life but some moments are filled with despair... I cant give much advice about how to cope when you watch someone get very sick. Its too personal and I guess everyone deals with it in their own way. Dont be afraid to rely on people to help you through it and give you a shoulder to cry on. Try and enjoy any moment you have with your partner. Thats really my regret - not making the best of time and wasting it. xx

[maddie86]

thanks i think the more the time approaches the more im prepearing myself.. i feel like i will cope i just have to mentally be prepeared.. feel free to chat to me anytime you want x

[SILLY]

I am sorry that you lost your husband and that your son has lost his dad . It does sound as though you are coping well under the circumstances .

[storm]

Hi Patience You have a lot of compassion; it shows so much in your story, your reflections and grief, your anniversary (4 weeks). Hugs Geoff

[Jules2]

Hi Patience I would just like to echo Geoff's sentiments. I think one thing we can learn from cancer is that there are no regrets. We do what we do at the time to be best of our ability. You sound like you were a wonderful support to your husband. hugsss Julie

[caring_partner]

Hi Patience.Im so sorry to hear that you lost your husband to this awful disease. Its coming up to a year next month sice my husband passed away from bowel cancer. You may like to visit this site http://www.everafterwidowed.com/ Its a NSW site set up primarily for widows with young children but it is really for anyone who has lost their partner. People on there know what you are going through and its helps to read that something you might find is strange behaviour is really quite normal for people in our situation. Have a look and see what you think. Sending cyberhugs your way. Regards Gail.