A very sick friend

[amanda2307]

My husband and I are British expats living overseas for many years. Our best friends for over twenty years are struggling. Four years ago Steve 50 was diagnosed with leukaemia. He was told in November 2018 that he only had a few months to live.  My best friend Sue has been asked to keep this information away from everyone including family and friends and act normal.  This is an absolute struggle for her.  Steve is now angry and spiteful to her on every level. Something she doesn’t know.  I’ve asked her to seek help from her GP maybe.  Steve however will not discuss this or talk to anyone.  They need advice. I am so far away in Hong Kong and want to help.  Is this normal behaviour. Please advise if you can. My friend is at her wits end. 

[little_stitcher]

Hi Amanda, unfortunately I'm hearing this kind of thing a lot  (I created a post about it not long ago- feel free to read it if you want).  I belong to a facebook page called 'Caring for Husbands with Cancer' (my husband was diagnosed with non Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2011) and this seems to be a common problem.  It can be the medication people are on, it can also just be a destructive way of dealing with the understandable stress, anxiety and grief of having cancer.  I also think it would be helpful for your friend to discuss it with her husband's doctor, because if the medication is causing the problem it's relatively easy to fix, and either way your friend and her husband need some clinical support for this situation.  I can also recommend the facebook page 'Caring for husbands with Cancer' to your friend, too- it has over 1000 members, so it's very 'active' and you get some great support and understanding from other women in the same situation.  

Your friends are also lucky to have someone like you looking out for them- having a spouse with cancer can be very lonely, and any type of interest or support from friends is extremely valuable.  Please let me know how they get on.  love and hugs, Emily