At last the love songs made sense, then he has terminal renal cancer.

[kiwicherie123]

Middle of the night. Tears, lots of tears. There must be someone in the world who is going through all this newly diagnosed terminal cancer stuff. I have just ranted in my first blog and I so want to connect with someone, anyone. I am scared and feel alone. I am mad at all the people that beat cancer. We don't have that option. He is going to die. I am mad at Mike for not somehow magically knowing he had cancer and getting it treated years ago. I am mad at myself for being mad at everything. I am mad at the world for continuing to turn when my world is falling apart. I am mad at having to smile as friends and family offer sympathy but nobody offers to mow that damn lawn. I am mad at the pain he is in and not knowing what to do about it.

[little_stitcher]

Oh sweetie, I so remember feeling like this. My husband was diagnosed with stage four non Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2011, and I reacted exactly as you have. All I can suggest is if anyone does say "..if there's anything I can do...", ask if they can mow the lawn (or whatever else needs doing). They may not know exactly what you need, and will probably be relieved to be able to actually help. Sending huge gentle hugs, and please keep posting here. You're not alone. Emily

[sally_wy]

my husband has collector cancer and secondary liver and lung cancer, I cry nd I know exactly how you are feelng as I feel the same way. everyones telling me to not look too far ahead but sometimes its hard not too. im cared too, o many mixed emotions. oh and I mow my own lawns, a mate of hubbys did once back that was it lol.

[Rijoch]

Hi, I had colon cancer that went to my liver and was told last week I wont last more than 12mths Trust me you aren't the only angry one lol, I am having a shit day today but to your point I think the anger is normal the questioning etc I had to tell my parents yesterday and I made a point of how I still wanted to be treated business as usual til it is no more, don't treat me any different I can still do stuff don't run around after me don't ask me 30 times a day if I am ok, if I wake up in the middle of the night its to piss its normal I can only imagine how hard it is for our partners but over compensating only annoys me (I can only assume your partner may be feeling similar) and if anyone starts to tell cancer stories glare at them til they hit the ground in excrutiating pain, not cool regardless of the outcome I just hope my loved ones , the ones that matter, can put on a brave face for me because I don't want to spend what time may be left sad or watching them upset. As much as it sucks (to put it mildly) if it is to happen we now have a chance a lot of people don't to really live like we all should be anyway to the full and really be kind to each other not babying but loving and kind so when the time comes we know we have done all we can with our lives. the shit will still flow, the emotions will come, the fear, the resentment, the anger, the questioning and sadness but theres stuff all we can do but get on with it we are after still alive today. I have yet to cry this time but having gone through the colon cancer and treatments for a few months I had my melt downs then so have not been so affected this time as stupid as that may sound (considering now I am apparently dying???) sorry if that was a too much of a rant but I think I have been having the same kind of day