COVID-19 restrictions in palliative care

Occasional Contributor

COVID-19 restrictions in palliative care

I have known for months now that Mum's cancer was terminal. Despite immense pain, she made it to my wedding on 21 March (just before the government restricted weddings to only 5 people).


It seems as though she used every once of willpower she had to get there. The doctors believe she is very close to death now and we have admitted her to a private palliative care facility. They are doing a brilliant job at managing her pain, but the restrictions imposed by the government feel extreme. We've been told that she is only allowed 1 visitor per day for a maximum of 2 hours. That means we get to choose whether it is me, my Dad, my sister or Mum's brother who gets to spend time with her each day. Even if we rotate, that means I get to spend 2 hours with her once every 4 days. 


We've been told they will relax those rules when they believe she is in her last 24 hours. Until then I'm just sitting at home desperately wanting to be with my mum in her final days. She's alone for 22 hours a day. None of this feels right 


We're planning to bring her back home so at least the family can be around her. I completely understand the public health need for the COVID-19 restrictions. I just wanted a space to vent and express how cold and unfeeling it feels. I'm 27 and overcome with grief at the prospect of a life without my mum and all I want to do is be with her. Yet these damned rules prevent that.


I am sure many others are struggling with the limitations we face at this time. I'm thinking of you all. This SUCKS!



Frequent Contributor

Re: COVID-19 restrictions in palliative care

You put it very well mel741, it SUCKS.


I am the father of a 27 year old daughter. My Rebecca was 23 when she lost her mother, best friend and greatest supporter to cancer. We sit together sometimes and talk about the funny things that blessed our lives, the 3 of us. Always ending in tears.


Those tears a free flowing now, as I read the horrible pain I can feel in your words. Shocking story. I said in a post on this site once before, there is nothing to match the bond and love of a mother & a daughter. Even when they argue, they love. I witnessed that 1 st hand.


I have nothing to add that will remedy your plight, but I can give you, your father (who must be going through hell), and your family, love and best wishes. I hope mum is able to leave us peacefully and with you all by her side.


Stay strong Mel, your a great daughter. That’s how I feel anyway.

Super Contributor

Re: COVID-19 restrictions in palliative care

Hi mel741,

I'm truly sorry that you can't be with your mum. By the time she's 24hrs from death she may not be responsive, as things can change quickly, and that's precious time you've missed with her.
I know it would never be the same, but would it be possible for you to set up FaceTime or Skype so at least she can see & speak with more than one of you at a time?
You all have my best wishes.

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