Carer - Bowel Cancer

[Meaghanjs]

Hi there, My name is Meaghan and my dad has been diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer. First week of chemo down and it has really taken a toll on him :( I currently live interstate but as my dad is a widow i have come home for the start of his chemo and to help care for him also to be there for my younger sister. It's all a bit of a shock and a lot of new info to take in,would love to be able to talk to people that are going through or have gone through this crappy time.

[lostsophie]

Hi Meaghan my dad has lung cancer and has just finished his first cycle of chemo, which is the third week where he has a week off. I feel for you and hope you are coping ok. It is hard to be a carer and also have a life. At the moment I don't feel like talking to anyone and keep trying to avoid social situations. How are you feeling?

[Meaghanjs]

Hi Sophie Sorry to hear about your dad too its a really crappy thing to watch someone go through. we had a set back this week dad was meant to start his second round of chemo on tuesday but his blood work came back not so good and ended up being admitted into hospital. His kidneys aren't coping so not sure how long he will be there for. I'm just so exhausted trying to make sure everyone else is ok and coping I forget about me. How are you coping with it all? How is your dad?

[lostsophie]

Hi meaghan, That's sad news to hear that your dad is in hospital. I hope he fights through it ok and you take care of yourself in this tough time. My dad is going into round 2 this week, he hasn't has his bloods yet but seems to be fine. He says he's actually feeling better, I'm hoping the chemo will work. Hope that with your dad in hospital he's in the right place getting the best care he needs right now. I'm ok today. I was feeling very sad on the weekend. I also have 2 older brothers one has mental health issues, major depression and doesn't work and the other has learning difficulties and works but needs care too. Dad is providing the majority of this care now, and I will step in if dad isn't feeling up to it, which is a bit of extra pressure. So far so good on the chemo... He has a scan in 5 or 6 weeks to see if it's working. If I get on with my life I sometimes feel guilty like should I be spending more time with him or doing more for him.. But I'm doing the best I can. And working too. I've seen a counsellor 3 times so far which helps. Also if i'm feeling really sad I try to distract myself with a funny movie, and I'm walking every day to keep my mind clear and I do yoga once a week. I have so much worry the counsellor has said to tell myself to have a day off from worry, sounds funny but I'm gonna try and give it a go. Just to shut off all the thoughts about what ifs, and the uncertainty. I hope you have found some good coping mechanisms too, it's such a hard time.

[Meaghanjs]

That will be a lot for you to take on with your brothers as well that must feel so overwhelming. Also with your dads sisters in NZ it must be hard not having that extra support. its good that he is feeling good after the first round hopefully he has a good run with the treatment and not get too sick. I agree its hard to distract yourself from whats going on and you feel guilty if you dont spend time with them or if you try and do some of the regular things you would do.i try to go out for a run to clear my head but sometimes I just can't muster the strength to go.. the days feel so long! im just exhausted with it all.. being away from my own things and my partner is just adding to the pressure to get through each day but then I feel guilty for feeling like that since its my dad that's going through the pain not me. Dads been in hospital for over a week and still not great. Spoke to his oncologist and we dont think continuing with chemo will do any good. Its more about making him as comfortable as we can for now. Its a bit to take in at the moment. hope your dad goes well this week.. take care