Feeling defeated

[wapwap48]

Hi, I'm new to this site. I'm 31 and I lost my first child when he was 1 year old to a brain tumour (PNET) in 2007. My mum (60) has been diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer in 2010 (she has just started her first round of chemo, and radiation is to start in July). Now with my mum being sick, I can't help but feel defeated after our first experience with cancer was so quick and tragic. I know everyone responds to treatment differently, but I just can't help but feel our family is going to loose again. I used to be a very optimistic person, but that characteristic disappeared 3 years ago 😞

[Jules2]

Hi wapwap I am sure i would be feeling defeated if i had to go through what you have gone through. I am so sorry to hear of your loss and now also your mum's diagnosis. How is she coping with her chemo and diagnosis? Everyone does react differently to treatment's etc... and i only hope that one day they will find that elusive "key" that unlocks the mystery surrounding cancer. Julie

[vinouche]

Hi wapwap, Your mum might respond very well to treatment, and although it is difficult at times to feel optimistic, I believe that a positive outlook can help a lot. It is so sad about your previous loss, but it does not mean it is always like this. I do hope your mum responds well to her treatment and that you have lots of better times to come. Hugs S

[wapwap48]

Thankyou Julie & Vinouche Mum's side effects so far have been the tingly finger tips, loss of appetite, exhaustion and nausea. And pain and discomfort in her backside. She looks so pale and skinny, I hate seeing her unwell. I cross my fingers everyday that she feels more comfortable soon, and when I don't dwell on it - I wish with all my might she will pull through this. Thankyou so much for your support. xxxxx

[Jules2]

Hi wapwap It must be very difficult watching your mum suffering. I cannot urge you enough to keep talking to the doctors re any side effects from treatment and pain. There is so much that they can do to ease suffering these days. There is no point in putting up with it because it just drags you down emotionally aswell as in other ways too. Yw re the support and i hope your mum is travelling a little easier now. Julie xo

[samex]

Hi Wapwap, I am 3 years out of bowel cancer diagnosis and chemo and I'm doing fine! I thought you might need some positive feedback. PLEASE make sure that you keep doctors etc informed of side effects especially the tingling - neuropathy - in her hands and feet. Mine was quite delibitating and it has lingered to some degree, but I am still here. The doctor can lessen the dose to help these side effects. I had my chemo dropped by 25% eventually as my body couldn't handle it. Remeember to take some time for both of you. My friends used to take me for "airings". Just a short drive to the beach or somewhere for coffee which gave me a change of scenery and some fresh air. Have someone take you somewhere as well. Take care, Samex

[wapwap48]

Thankyou Samex, I'm glad you wrote. I'm glad you are well too. My mum has a 'break' this week then onto the next dose next week before radiation. She has been out a few times and I can see that makes her feel a bit better. Thank you so much for your support. xxxxx

[wapwap48]

Hi there Well my mum's surgery in next Friday. She completed 5 wks of radiation and chemo, it knocked her around - but she powered through. Pain killers, a ring cushion, paw paw ointment etc were close friends of hers. One thing I don't understand is why haven't the Dr's ordered a scan before this surgery? Don't they want to see how the treatment worked before they operate?

[samex]

Hi, Good luck to yu and your mum with the surgery. Not sure about why no scans, but don't be afraid to ask. After what your mum has been through, hopefully the sirgery will be fine. I had surgery first(it was an emergency as my bowel had shut down) and it was a walk in the park compared to chemo! Good luck with it all and take care of yourself as well. S

[wapwap48]

Gosh , I wrote that 2.5yrs ago. Mum only has spots in her lungs now, the bowel and liver are clear. We call it maintenance on her lung (every day with tablets and fortnightly infusion) She has come along way and u are right, everyone responds differently! She looks really well, and feels pretty good in comparison at the start! Bloody cancer, ping off!!