My husband has just been diagnosed with cancer. Its inoperable and he has been given about 6 months to live with chemo.
I am devastated, shocked, numb. I keep looking at our kids who are both under 10 and i am filled with grief, not just for my husband, but on their behalf of my kids loosing their father so young. I am trying to keep it together.
How have other people coped???? I have no idea how i am going to do this.
We are planning on telling our kids when he gets home from hospital.
I am so very sorry about your husbands diagnosis. How devastating for you all.
The only comfort I feel I have to offer is to not underestimate chemo, as it may give you longer than the 6 month prognosis. I have been in a similar situation where my step dad was given 3-12 months (with heavy implication from the doctor it would be a lot closer to 3 than 12), but with chemo he lived for almost 4 years from the date of his diagnosis.
The best advice I have it just take it day by day - there is not much else you can do. Focus on spending time with each other. Allow yourself time to grieve, and take care of yourself as well.
I agree with Freddelo. I am of the belief that doctors and oncologists almost HAVE to give you worst case because if it was the other way around and they told you a year when it was 6 months, they could be done for misconduct or whatever legal name its called! I have heard soooooooo many stories of people outliving diagnosis by years! My Mum was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung and was given a year. 5 years with a mix of chemo and immuno! They made her sick in the end (no body can withstand that much crap) but we were all 'ready' as can be to say goodbye. It was the hardest thing ive ever done and will most likely be the hardest thing you will do.
Know that you WILL get through it. He would want you to. He wants to see you smiling, not crying so do your kids. So cry in the shower, in the car but make the time you have with him and the kids the best it can be. Try pushing the pain aside. It's amazingly hard but if you let it drown you, you will find living unbearable. Distractions are good too! My dog helps, music, gardening or any repetitive tasks (I organized the pantry for the 1st time). Don't be hard on yourself and think you 'can't' handle it, you can its just very, very hard!
Take care and here anytime..youre never alone.
PS I've rung the hotline number above twice now and it says to leave a message!! I am going through my husbands cancer (for the second time) 2 months after losing my precious Mum. I am seriously drowning in grief and there doesn't seem to be ANYONE to talk to - wheres this 'cancer connect'!!! Hotline?? Freakin Cold line. Not impressed.
I am sorry to hear you have not been able to find the help/support needed.
Please call 13 11 20 (between 9-5) one of our Cancer Council professionals will be able to talk to you and assist you with the right support and information.
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