My mum just got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, and they also found traces of it in her brain. She has just started the new tablet cancer drug, and all of her family and friends have started talking about it on facebook. My mum isnt exactly private but something like this was somehting she never wanted plastered on facebook. But all of her really good friends have just gone and made "thoughts and prayers" posts, we arent even religious. I can tell it effects her and i know these are all coming from such empathetic places, but no one really took the time to consult her about wether or not she wanted it. Someone ever made a gofundme page without asking her, even if its coming from a genuine place. She is the one gping through this and i just feel like the friends shes known for years shouldnt take sucha public attempt at "consouling" her. Dont get me wrong there are bigger things to worry about here, but its just disheartening in a particular way, seeing people quicker jump on facebook then reach out. But this might just be me taking my anger out on the world and nit picking. I just feel like if they really wanted to help it wouldnt be so public? Like thoughs and prayers wont exactly take the cancer out of her lung will they. Am i being stupid?
Ameliamarilyn, first I want to say I’m sorry to hear about your moms diagnosis. Second I want you to take a deep breath, and realize these people are doing it out of love for your mom. I know exactly what your going thru, we had someone do a go fund me for my husband. My husband is the kind of guy that doesn’t want to be the center of attention or honestly his business out there in the open. My husband has terminal cancer and we have 3 kids 25, 22 and 19. He was diagnosed 3 years ago and now is bedridden. I want you to know the hardest thing to know how to react to such hard news if different for everyone. Just bc you and mom aren’t religious doesn’t hurt to have prayers out there being said. ( we are also not religious) but now thankful and see the love. This is new to you, I believe you said. I’m 3 plus years in, my husband was diagnosed 6-17-19. He was given 6 months to 18 months ( with 18 being really very unlikely) he is here 3 plus years. So a prayer doesn’t hurt. You want to know what hurts. My husbands family couldn’t make it to the hospital to see their only son and brother in the hospital. ( he has already lost his older sister to cancer 2014 on August 31st) yes today is her passing anniversary. She was 9 days away from her 56 th birthday. My husband is 58. My husband mother lived in our 3 family for 20 years but couldn’t pick up the phone to call my kids to see how they are coping with their dads diagnosis nor any of the family. Easter came my kids didn’t receive a call or text. I threw my mother inlaw out of our three family and I won’t talk to any of them, nor will my kids. These people are reaching out with love. People don’t ask people they love if they need help. ( bc they know the person will say I’m fine) they do it and believe me, stuff will come up and you will be so grateful and your mom also, that people loved her enough and your family to have a nest egg made out of love for the lives you all have touched. Your hurting right now, your mom is scared and hurting. Realize there are bigger battles to fight. They are sharing her story out of love, and friendship to get people to chip in, not to hurt your family but out of love. I say this bc it’s happened to us. You need love and support and caring people. If people didn’t ask how your mom was you would be hurt right? You can’t hide the cancer. Unfortunately none of us can. I would much rather being loved and daily prayers, than being forgotten. There are so many people out there that have absolutely no one. Taking on Cancer all by themselves. Now that is really sad. You and your mom didn’t ask for this help and neither did we, but remember it’s out of love for your family that these lovely kind hearted people whom your mom and your family mean enough to them to try and help. I am also praying for your family. Like I said my husband is bedridden but I’m thankful for every day and believe love has helped keep him here, loneliness would have taken him away sooner. Again I’m sorry and I hope you keep venting and sharing here. It was truly a blessing for me and the heartache Cancer has caused my family. Sincerely,
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