It happened a long time ago

[MyaK]

Hi 

My mum passed away about 4 yrs ago from breast cancer. She didn't tell anyone about it so by the time we found out we only had a couple of months with her. It still hurts to think about everything she went through alone. The doctors said she was taking panadol to manage the pain when she was supposed to be on morphine.

I can't believe I.missed all the signs of her illness

I guess I'm writing now because I just need to talk to someone.. I feel that my friends and family have moved past it but I still have times every week when I remember moments of her illness and passing

...such as when she forgot what a rose was when the cancer spread to her brain...yellow roses were her favourite 

Every time this happens I just have to keep smiling and continuing on at work and at home or when we're out with friends 

It's really hard and I feel like I'm living 2 different lives.. One that is continuing as normal and one that is in pain 

[Katekat]

Hello @MyaK and welcome to the Online Community.

It sounds that you are experiencing an incredibly difficult situation, might I suggest that you call in to 13 11 20 and talk to one of our health professionals about this if you feel you cannot talk to anyone around you at home?

I would also encourage you to engage with others here. Everyone experiences grief in different ways and every experience is unique, but there are commonalities that others would share.

Kind Regards,

Kate - Online Community Manager