Loved one getting progressively angrier as the cancer progresses

[Meadow789]

Hi. This is the first time I've been on here, and It's reached a point where I need an outlet. As I feel lost as to where to turn to.

I'm a single new-ish mum living with my parents and my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer a year ago. As the months, weeks, days roll on, he seems to get progressively angrier, and my mother and I seem to be in the line of fire. I know he's not well, but his words at the time hurt and make me anxious. Sometimes to the point where I'll talk back. I'm just wondering if anyone else is going through something similar, and could potentially shed some light? Sending love to you all.

[little_stitcher]

Hi Meadow, I haven't been in your situation (my husband had non Hodgkin's lymphoma, and no mood swings), but I'm really sorry you're in this position- it must be awful.  As I was reading your post I was wondering what type of cancer your Dad has, and what medications (if any) he is on?  Some medications, particularly steroids, and some types of cancer, generally brain cancer, can cause noticable negative changes in mood.  It might be worth discussing this with your Dad's doctor if your Dad is agreeable to this.   If not, it still might be worth discussing it with your doctor, because you need some support in this situation.  Your doctor won't be able to comment on your Dad's care, of course, but should be able to help you manage your situation.  Same with your Mum.  I hope you all get some answers soon.  love Emily

[Meadow789]

Hi Emily,

Thank you for your kind words and advice.

He has bowel, lung and brain cancer. And tick to the steroids. I don't think the doctors forewarned enough on the side effects. It's funny how treatment can help one thing, but hinder another. I'm sorry to hear about your husband. Thank you again. Sending my love

[little_stitcher]

Hopefully you will be able to get some more answers from your husband's Doctor, now you have some extra questions to ask.

I said my husband 'had' NHL, I guess it's more realistic to say he has it- he's been in remission for the past five years, and is currently healthier than he has ever been. He's so healthy it doesn't sound right to say he has it.   He was diagnosed at 40 with stage 4 and had six months of chemotherapy, which thankfully put him into remission.   About 18 months into his remission he was inspired to get healthy, and lost his excess weight and took up cycling.  He cycled up and down Mount Baw Baw with some friends last weekend! When he was diagnosed neither of us could ever have believed he would be spending more time wearing lycra than anything else at any stage in the future.  I hope this is encouraging to you as well- good things will happen that you never could have imagined today.  Sending hugs, Emily

[Bucknchooky]

My husband has gone through cycles of bad moods, verbal abuse and then he will be the sweetest guy you will ever met.

To start with I ignored it, but it gets to the point where you just can't take it any more and you lash out back at them. I know it's the stress and the chemo but it's still hard.

I have had days where I sat in the car thinkng I could just drive away. But thankfully my husband will come out the other end and will hopefully go back to being him.

Counciling also helps them to express all those feelings.

Big hugs