Moving forward?

[Jessicarose95]

Hi I am new to this page. My name is Jess and my husband has terminal brain cancer. The survival time is only 12 months even with surgery, chemo and radiation. My husband was diagnosed when he was only 19 years old. I was 18. And we are so blessed he is still with us 5 years later!! 

My question is, how do we live normal again after cancer? While my husband is of sound mind and clear of any depression or anxiety, here I am depressed and sad. Why? I have no idea. I just want to be happy again. We just welcomed our beautiful first child into this world 4 months ago. Everything is perfect, why am I not happy?  

I am sorry if I sound silly to some people. It’s just how I feel. And I suppose venting helps a little? 

Wishing good health to you all and your loved ones

[Katekat]

Hello @Jessicarose95 and welcome!

No need to apologise, you don't sound silly at all 

And venting certainly does help! Whilst I don't have cancer in my immediate family, I do have little ones myself, so sending huge hugs your way.

I am going to send you an email with some options for you to explore, but there are definitely others here who will have been through a similar experience to your own. We're here 

[little_stitcher]

Hi Jessica, you don't sound silly at all, in fact I can relate to what you're saying.  My husband was diagnosed with incurable lymphoma in 2011, and thankfully went into remission after 6 months of chemo.  I was 'fine' while all this was happening.  It was only about 12 months later, when there was no 'carer's to do list' anymore that the reality of what we had gone through had sunk in, and I had a mild break down as I finally had the time and energy to process my grief and fear .  (I had some counselling, which really helped)  I think especially if the acute care phase has been very busy the carer's emotions tend to get processed after the event- it sounds like that's what you're going through. 

I also have to confess that as a health care worker I always tend to scent out diagnoses, and the timing of your depression is perhaps explanatory too- did it start after before or after you gave birth?  If it started after, post birth hormones may also be playing a part.  It might be helpful to chat to your GP to see if they think this is the case. 

Try to be gentle and understanding with yourself- you are so young to have coped with so much!!  And please keep venting here- we're all here to listen and vent and support each other.  Love and hugs, Emily