My hero has cancer.

[Lillypad]

I’m not coping. How do you cope?

My mum died suddenly of an aneurism in 2016 at Christmas. 

My step mum has just been moved to palliative care from pancreatic cancer, with the outlook of 2-10 months. 

My uncle has been diagnosed with prostate cancer about two months ago. 

And now My dad has been diagnosed with kidney cancer. He doesn’t know how big or what stage, just that they will operate. I don’t even know if it’s to remove it or just take a biopsy!

I don’t know how to cope anymore. I am so angry at the world and find myself crying at the drop of a hat.  

Ive read that Kidney cancer has a 75% survival rate at 5 years after diagnosis but my dad is 75. I’m usually strong and positive but I just can’t do it anymore. 

[kj]

Lillypad

I have never had to endure the amount of heartache that’s been thrust upon you, all I can say is you must be a very strong person to have coped so far,but as you say your fathers diagnosis can be the tipping point,try and seek some professional guidance for your self on how best to help your stepmom,and Dad at this very stressful time in all your lives,from a personal point of view if you have someone you can confide in it can help ,the cancer council have a phone number you can call for assistance and support,at this most difficult time in your life.

[sch]

Hi Lillypad,

I understand how you are feeling.

Everything just keeps on piling up and piling up, and just when you feel as though you can't cope any more, more things just pile on top.

I hear you.

Sometimes things are just shit. All of these issues just seem unsurmountable and the horrible things just won't stop piling up.

Keep your hope alive. We can some times achieve amazing things. You and your Dad are in my thoughts.

Find someone to talk to, even if you just drop in here and comment and talk to us.

-s

[Lillypad]

Thank you for your reply. I might give the phone number a go. These are just a few family things. There has been more, like workplace violence and my divorce within these events but my dads situation has really pulled the rug out from under me. After being through so much within such a short period of time I got sick of the pity, and sick of not being able to cope. This is happening again and I can feel myself getting frustrated, teary and flattened so easily. I feel like I’m too young for this at 31, 27 when it began with mum.

[Lillypad]

I achieved making a dessert tonight. I’d call that a win.
I’m a person who sees life with rose coloured glasses. It’s like life has yanked them off and made me watch horrific things in graphic detail.

And I came off antidepressants a few weeks ago too. I’m not at the point of going back on them, but maybe that’s what I’m doing wrong.

[Budgie]

Hi Lillypad,
I understand what you're feeling. I too, have alot of family members with one form of cancer or another; 2 of which have died from it.
You do need to find someone to speak with & download your feelings. I can't stress this enough. Make sure you take time for yourself each day/week, (whenever suits) to do something for yourself, even if it's only 15 minutes.

I was diagnosed with terminal kidney cancer in August 2012. There are quite a few good treatments around & hopefully, your father's cancer is in an early stage. Please feel free to ask me any questions that come to you, as knowledge is power, & if I can help, I will do so gladly.
Take care of yourself

Budgie

[Budgie]

Gosh, you really have been thru the wringer. You are a strong person @Lillypad - you're still here! Keep the faith

[sch]

Hi Lillypad,

So what did you make for dessert?

I guess, the fact that you found the energy to make dessert would seem like a good thing.

Now you've made me think of a nice chocolate mousse. Hmm. I think I might try making one this weekend.

If you've come off the antidepressants and you're not feeling right, please make sure that you let your doctor know, even if it's just so they can monitor you for any effects.

It sounds to me like you're in shock and still processing these events. I think that after everything you've been through, I think that this would be normal. The accumulative effect builds up.

Make sure you keep in touch.

-s