My little sister who is only 32, has recently been diagnosed with advanced cervical cancer that has spread to her lungs. We acknowledge the diagnosis is terminal, and our time is limited. I have taken some time off work to try to cope with life.
I have a family with 2 little people, who are as yet, unaware that their aunty they both love so very much, is going to die from this cancer.
I'm struggling everyday knowing that my sister who I love and adore, will not be part of our lives as we dreamed and planned, I am trying to make the most of the time we do get together, and very much trying to put on a brave front. While I'm falling to pieces on the inside.
How do you do it,
How do you enjoy the moments, without always thinking in the back of your mind, it this the last... whatever the moment may be.
How do you explain cancer to a 6 & 8 year old,
How do you explain to your own partner, how precious every moment you are able to spend with your sibling,
And how do you keep yourself from feeling selfish when your little sister has a amazing wife (yes she is gay) and you know in your heart that her time is so very important to be spending together also....
My sisters diagnosis only happened in November, she has already undergone radiation treatment, and 2 single doses of chemo, she has also had 1 double dose of chemo, and is due to have another double dose this week coming. However she is back in hospital again, fighting an infection, again.
I feel so utterly useless, there isn't anything you can do to change what is happening, and I think that that's the most heartbreaking thing of all.
Every day is such a roller coaster of emotions xo
