My mother has kidney cancer

[dee1980]

She had her left kidney removed in November, but it spread to her lymph nodes. The doctor told her that it was gone. She kept having pains in her stomach after she got out of the hospital. She went back to the emergency room last week and just got out. Today at the oncologist we just found out that her cancer came back and there's no cure. He put her on Sutent as a way to prolong her life and keep the cancer from spreading so fast. My dad, brother, and I went and I got so dizzy and had to lie down on the exam table. I just couldn't believe it. My mom is 70. I just don't want to believe this is it. She doesn't seem sad unless she's holding it in.

[iloveyoudearly7]

I remember that feeling of the first initial shock, everything feels so surreal or like an dream.

I am sorry for the news that was received. But your family still have time together, make the most of everyday and years, you have with one another.

* Have coffee and discuss memories or ask questions you always wanted to know.

* Go somewhere for an trip and explore - to create treasured memories.

* Do whatever you can all enjoy together and remember that doctor's estimates regarding timelines are not regularly accurate. It's simply their guess. (Or seek additional medical opinions/options).

Remember that your never alone. You have friends and family. Plus everyone on here as well.

[dee1980]

Thank you. Your kind words give me hope. 

[Caregiver]

I am sorry to learn of your Mother's diagnosis. But according to what I have read you can live quite a long time if you can tolerate the side effects. How is she doing .do you know the dosage she is on. Is she having any issues. My husband has thymus cancer for which there is no cure but he is taking Sutent 37.5 mg

3 weeks on one week off.  He cannot taste and is so exhausted he sleeps all the time. I think the dosage is too high but would appreciate input from those taking this drug. 

[Budgie]

Hi Caregiver,

 I have kidney cancer & Sutent was the first treatment I was on.  Fatigue has been my constant companion since I started on that drug.   I have since been through half a dozen other treatments once they’ve stopped working & the fatigue has always been there.   If you think your husbands dose is too high, you could ask his oncologist if it’s possible to take it one week on, one week off.   It might make a difference.   If that’s not possible, I think the next lowest dose for Sutent is 12.5mg.   That may be an option for him. 

Budgie

[dee1980]

If it's common, then there's nothing to worry about. I assume that it's doing the job. She's back in the hospital because she had shortness of breath because she was told by a hospital doctor to not drink that much water. She became dehydrated and is back in the hospital. She can't walk without having shortness of breath. Her vitals are fine, but it's just her good kidney needs help. She still has cancer though. 

[dee1980]

She is going to have hospice now. She's back home. They took her off her chemo meds because they said they're not doing anything for her. The cancer has spread to her liver. When I got the news, it was shock and I felt sick. I can't do anything about it. I don't know how long she'll live.

[chandilli]

My dad lost his right kidney in march 2018 due to cancer. It was found by accident which was lucky as the kidney was barely working. Within 8 weeks of diagnoses the kidney was removed. My dad recovered well but in january this year he was diagnosed with esophagus cancer. He has 2 tumours and is currently going through chemo. Its so hard to see my dad so ill, frail and weak. He barely eats or drinks and sleeps most of the time. Its horrible watching him go through this.

All we can do is be there for them, hold their hand and let them know how much we love them. It sucks and its scary. Just try to remember all the good times you have had with your mum. Take lots of pictures before she gets too much sicker. I regret not having many photos of my nan before cancer took her 15yrs ago. 

[dee1980]

My mom died on the 18 of April. It hurts even though I'm trying to get used to her not being around. I was her caretaker and it's hard at times. I remember all the good and bad times we had together. We had the normal mother and daughter relationship. I miss her every day. I have pictures, but all I can think of is of the times she was sick. I just can't get that out of my mind. Spend as much time as you have with your dad and tell him you love him.

[Anonymous]

Im so sorry to read about your mum.

The emotional pain must be wrecking havoc with yourself inside.

As another commemt suggested....try spend the time left reflecting on all the good times and try to spend time having fun in some way.

David.