Need ideas to make the last few weeks happy and meaningful for a 12 year old girl

[Mrs_Elton]

Hi Bee, Midnight Cupcake, what a great name! If I think of anything else, I will pop online and send it through. My husband passed away on 30 May last year, his primary was osophageal cancer however he had a secondary tumour on the brain which was inoperable. It is so hard to see the people you love disappear before your eyes. I admire and commend you for your proactive approach to help give support to Midnight Cupcake and her family, It shows you are a truly special person. Kind regards, Jill

[Bee]

Jill, I bet you are still going through a tough time, having lost your special person only a year ago. Very sad. My other girlfriend lost her husband to kidney cancer over 4 years ago. Unfortunately I didn't know he was sick, as we had lost sight of each other a bit and they kept his illness very private. I still feel bad that I couldn't be there for her and her two little kids. But my family and I have been there for them for the past 4 years and I have seen how difficult life gets when your perfect match has been taken from you. With all my heart I wish you all the strength (and all the support you need) to get to the place in time when the memory of your loved one turns from heartbreak to cherish. Best wishes, Bee

[Mrs_Elton]

Hi Bee, Another thought, what if all her friends try to come up with a cupcake that is their version of what they think a Midnight Cupcake would be, eg. chocolate cupcake with turkish delight centre. Each friend/family member makes their version, Midnight Cupcake taste tests them all and decides which one she likes the best. Then down the track, there will be something tangible that everyone can do anytime they want to remember her. Jill xo

[Bee]

That is an absolutely sweet idea. I will pass this on as well. Another mum has organised a craft evening for her friends (making cushions, spelling her name), but also making cupcakes for her. You have really creative ideas. Thank you!!!

[Mrs_Elton]

Bee, Another idea that I'm not sure how people will feel about....it is something that I intend to do for my sons (7 and 9) and myself........ I am planning (when my boys are ready to do it) for each of us to go through our favourite photos of us with my husband/their father and create a powerpoint presentation (my 9 yr old does these all the time for school) which will give me photos and their own text that I can then use to make a photo book for each of us (from Officeworks/Harvey Norman etc etc). What I also will do (again when we are all ready emotionally) is find the clothes that Greg was wearing in the photos and then a friend of mine is going to make a patchwork quilt using pieces of that fabric. I will have a few special photos on the quilt too, but most of it will be clothing patches. We will have one made for each of us, might use his ties and boxer shorts for the borders. It will be something that we can wrap around us for comfort and warmth in a physical sense but also a nurturing emotional sense. I'm not sure how you would be able to adapt that for Midnight Cupcake and her friends but I'm sure that a bit of brainstorming will find an appropriate answer. These suggestions are sent with love, I hope they don't cause pain or discomfort. Jill xo

[Bee]

The patchwork quilt is a very unique idea. Like a hug. I think it is beautiful and practical. Midnight Cupcake's grandma used to be a dressmaker. I will suggest it to the family when the time is right. I also thought about the photobooks as I have done quite a few myself. But I could imagine that it will be very hard emotionally for the family to select the photos. But I will make the offer - again, when I hope the time is right. Midnight Cupcake has arrived home from hospital and apparently is very happy to finally be home. Even her mum sounds in good spirits. But she needs 24/7 care.

[thaker]

Hi Bee I lost hubby to GBM (brain tumour) in Dec 09. When he was in paliative care, my little girls (3 and 9 at the time) did some finger printing with their dad. They used their fingers and their dad's fingers and some paint to make prints of butterflies and flowers on canvas. He had lost quite a lot of mobility by then (could not hold a spoon or a pen) but he managed that activity with the girls' help. This has become the girls' favourite memento. It was fun and light hearted when we did it. I send best wishes to Midnight Cupcake and her family. Jill, I like your idea of the quilt. I found an American site that makes teddy bears out of loved ones clothes and that's what I have done for the girls. They picked items of his clothing that they have a fond attachment to and I had these made into a teddy bear for each of them. Regards ST

[Bee]

Dear ST, They are both beautiful ideas. The finger painted fabric could be used for the quilt as well. I have lots of fabric paint. And Midnight Cupcake can do it with our help. I am amazed what great ideas I am receiving through my call for help. I didn't expect that. You are all a wonderful bunch of people. Thank you for your support!!! Bee

[Smiley]

As it is hard for school friends to visit if they have colds etc.... how about video postcards ??? A short little 'hello' & these can be compiled & enjoyed over & over. Maybe even Skype - kids are so tech savvy Thoughts are with the family - my husband too has a Brain tumor but it devastates me to think of a child with this dreadful disease

[Bee]

Dear Smiley, I believe Skype has been set up on their laptop, but Midnight Cupcake now has difficulties communicating. Her damaged short term memory lets her forget what happened 5 minutes ago. Very sad. But video messages is a great idea, and I agree they can be very entertaining and watched over and over again. I agree it is a cruel disease, no matter at what age it strikes. I just wish there was a cure and better odds. Best wishes to you and your husband.