Palliative care doctors and nurses

[Traci-Renee]

Hi Patches,

we haven’t heard from you so I just wanted to see how you are doing and of course your husband.  Are the nurses still coming to your house?  Well again I just wanted to check in with you and send you a hug.

Traci-Rene’e

[Patches]

Has been crazy last few weeks with my husbands health, trying to prepare to move house and few other things. We had nurses coming each day for 2 weeks only before returning to support from ‘in community’ which is usually once a fortnight. Palliative care nurse to come to our home today to do assessment regarding exactly what help we need and can my husband stay at home ..... his body is failing and he is gradually approaching last days. We want to keep him at home. We don’t want to have him go t9 palliative care unit. Is almost exactly 5 yrs since his mum died of cancer in palliative care unit in our town.

[Traci-Renee]

Hi Patches,

I’m so sorry you are going thru all this.  I didn’t know you were moving?  I thought you were with your father in-law.  I live in Mass and here they give you the option.  My sister in-law passed away from lung and brain cancer when she was 55, 2014.  They kept asking us about hospice.( which is were critical pts go in their final days, or who need lots of care) anyways it wasn’t until she got really bad at the end that my mother in-law and sister in-law, couldn’t bare it anymore.  So they finally said yes to hospice on the 30th of August, she was admitted at 5:00 p.m and at 2:05 a.m I awoke with a weird feeling and got up to look at all the kids.  I checked on them and as I was heading back to my bedroom, I looked at the clock it was 2:12 a.m.  I was walking by my kitchen island and the cordless phone was right there and started ringing.  Of course it is never good news at that time.  So I answered and got the news that my sister in-law passed away.  9 hours later.  Honestly she never woke up once there and the face her morphine right in her port...she finally looked comfortable and at ease.  Instead of pain.  The priest came in and like I said not even 9 hours later she passed.  My heart goes out to you.  Know your options and if you decide it’s getting to much, then only you will know...sending you a great big Hug, you are amazing!!! Your husband knows how lucky he got with having you by his side.  Xoxo

[Patches]

He is in final days. Tuesday afternoon we were transferred to palliative care team were, once again, we have support 24/7. Long single hire hospital bed was due to be delivered on Wednesday afternoon and my husband was looking forward to sleeping at least one night in the bed but it wasn’t mean to be. Because his mobility was getting worse and he was so comfortable in lift recliner chair in the lounge room palliative care nurse suggested to my husband he spend the night in the recliner. We slept in lounge room beside each other that night which was a rough night. I had to phone palliative care nurses at 5:30 am as he could no longer get himself off the chair. Nurses were great and had to physically lift him from recliner to commode and then back to the recliner. He had some pain plus horrid chocking cough so was given some morphine plus maxolon via needle. By 7:30am he was trying to get out of the chair, was extremely agitated and was yelling but it was not his tone. Nurses came again, asked couple of questions and just started giving him needles. Once he was semi settled one nurse put him hand on my shoulder and told me the worst was over and it would not get that bad again. She told me that I had witnessed the body and brain massive struggle to try to fight off last days. He had 2 similar but not as verbally explosive episodes this morning where nurses attended both times, giving him morphine and medication to relax him both times. Palliative care doctor came late. This morning and has double dosage of both medication, he is now on strongest dosage of morphine recommended by manufacturers. He is receiving the meds as slow release constant dosages via a machine with hope he doesn’t wake or get agitated again

[VM]

Good evening Patches. It sounds really lonely where you are? How are you? Thinking of you in these quiet hours...xx

[Traci-Renee]

Patches, 

I am sending you a great big hug, saying prayers for you all...❤️

[Patches]

Due to my father-in-law living on his own on one side of outer town and us on the other side ( approx 30 to 40minute drive between the houses) we made decision end of last year to move in with my father-in-laws approx Easter this year.  Due to my husband almost dying in early January due to severe cellulitis and 2 other infections we made decision to start to move in January.  My father-in-law in law is almost 90 and has obvious signs of Dementia.  His house is in small quiet court with neighbors that have lived here for years and help each other but also keep to themselves unless needed.  Due to coronavirus and caring for both my husband and his dad I have hardly left the house for 10 weeks now.

within myself I feel fairly calm and am starting to get reasonable sleep, even if that is on the couch in the lounge at the moment to be near my husband in case her rouses or gets agitated.  I have small number of friends and relatives who are supporting me as much as possible.  First attempt back at work, which was actually working from home, was Tuesday which lasted for the morning before my husband needed me but it showed me that I am ready to go back to work when things here quieten down.

there is only my father-in-law and myself to care full time for my husband.  My sister-in-law lives about 90 minute drive away but has her own mental health issues.  My husbands youngest son and family lives in different state but have hardly ever contacted us since the diagnosis .  My husbands eldest son lives approx 3 hrs drive away, comes here everyday he can and would do anything for his dad and  me.

[Traci-Renee]

Patches, 

wow, you have your plate full.  Your step son sounds very nice. ( the one that comes every chance he can, and would do anything for you or his dad).  So are you taking care of his dad also?  Boy have you earned your wings my friend.  Such a big heart.  I’m thinking of you and your husband daily.  ❤️