Is interesting you used the words in out hears ..... song I had at his funeral as my tribute to my husband was ‘Two of us’ by band Birds of Toyko’ which talks about carrying him in my heart ... View more

I have some cousins my town who I am close to. My late husbands eldest son and I clicked on the first day we met which was approx 7 years ago. His same son and I have always been good friends but this relationship has changed for the positive. Day before my husband passed away his son and I were talking on the phone with speaker on. During the conversation I told him that he is not just his boy, that he is my son also. When my husband heard what his son said in reply he uncurled one finger and briefly raised his hand showing us he was happy ..... the reply ‘I love you mum’. In that brief moment I became an instant mum of a 41 yo amazing young man. My son and his partner live approx 2.5 to 3 hr drive away but will do everything and anything for me. ... View more

My husband passed away on 24 April just after 3:30pm with his family near him just as he wanted. His battles are finished and he is finally at peace. Paul has found peace and so have we his family ... View more

Due to my father-in-law living on his own on one side of outer town and us on the other side ( approx 30 to 40minute drive between the houses) we made decision end of last year to move in with my father-in-laws approx Easter this year.  Due to my husband almost dying in early January due to severe cellulitis and 2 other infections we made decision to start to move in January.  My father-in-law in law is almost 90 and has obvious signs of Dementia.  His house is in small quiet court with neighbors that have lived here for years and help each other but also keep to themselves unless needed.  Due to coronavirus and caring for both my husband and his dad I have hardly left the house for 10 weeks now.   within myself I feel fairly calm and am starting to get reasonable sleep, even if that is on the couch in the lounge at the moment to be near my husband in case her rouses or gets agitated.  I have small number of friends and relatives who are supporting me as much as possible.  First attempt back at work, which was actually working from home, was Tuesday which lasted for the morning before my husband needed me but it showed me that I am ready to go back to work when things here quieten down.   there is only my father-in-law and myself to care full time for my husband.  My sister-in-law lives about 90 minute drive away but has her own mental health issues.  My husbands youngest son and family lives in different state but have hardly ever contacted us since the diagnosis .  My husbands eldest son lives approx 3 hrs drive away, comes here everyday he can and would do anything for his dad and  me. ... View more

My heart goes out to you Darcy as my husband suffered mental health issues which was linked to his pancreatic cancer. Heartless as this might sound but you need to take care of yourself first, especially when he is in hospital. When he is in hospital and starts to get angry and verbally mistreat you, you need to explain to him you are not going to stay there if that is how he is going to treat you and just walk out. Walk out and leave him in the room. Talk to his nurse on your way out about what has happened can be good for nurses to try to help. You need to take care of your mental and physical health which might mean you might decide not to visit him in hospital each day. In our town the Palliative care team have a psychologist who assists patients and their families. If this is provided in your area this may be able to assist your husband but also yourself. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer in mid October last year. The mixture of emotions caused by trying to come to terms with the diagnosis, the impact of chemo on his body, the impact of him being an inpatient in oncology ward due to chemo side effects and related infections played heavily on his mind and he has suffered with mental health issues from not long after diagnosis onwards which gradually got worse. As the months progressed I found, for my mental health, I had to make time for me and also walk out of his hospital room on many occasions. My husband is now in last days but his passing is not being easy on him. ... View more

He is in last days. He didn’t get to sleep in the new bed we were expecting, he had been heavily sedated prior to it due to arrival, his legs have completely failed, his kidneys appear to be failing and he will spend the rest of his days at home with family sleeping in electric lift recliner. ... View more

He is in final days. Tuesday afternoon we were transferred to palliative care team were, once again, we have support 24/7. Long single hire hospital bed was due to be delivered on Wednesday afternoon and my husband was looking forward to sleeping at least one night in the bed but it wasn’t mean to be. Because his mobility was getting worse and he was so comfortable in lift recliner chair in the lounge room palliative care nurse suggested to my husband he spend the night in the recliner. We slept in lounge room beside each other that night which was a rough night. I had to phone palliative care nurses at 5:30 am as he could no longer get himself off the chair. Nurses were great and had to physically lift him from recliner to commode and then back to the recliner. He had some pain plus horrid chocking cough so was given some morphine plus maxolon via needle. By 7:30am he was trying to get out of the chair, was extremely agitated and was yelling but it was not his tone. Nurses came again, asked couple of questions and just started giving him needles. Once he was semi settled one nurse put him hand on my shoulder and told me the worst was over and it would not get that bad again. She told me that I had witnessed the body and brain massive struggle to try to fight off last days. He had 2 similar but not as verbally explosive episodes this morning where nurses attended both times, giving him morphine and medication to relax him both times. Palliative care doctor came late. This morning and has double dosage of both medication, he is now on strongest dosage of morphine recommended by manufacturers. He is receiving the meds as slow release constant dosages via a machine with hope he doesn’t wake or get agitated again ... View more

Today I have spoken to palliative care nurses about his increasing decrease and that there are things where he is getting worse each day. They are hoping to get us into programme called palliative care at home which will mean I will have nurse come here 3 times a day and they are available 24 hrs each day to help, come to the house etc. programme only has very limited places, waiting to find out if there is availability for us to go onto programme. My husband is in hospital bed in our room and has been for about 5 weeks but it is too short for him. Tomorrow we get new hospital bed for my husband, and companion bed to me, delivered to home which is longer and will allow us to sleep beside each other at night. Based on his very limited mobility my husband will be bedridden as of tomorrow afternoon when new bed gets here. Yesterday I had to go out and was out of the house for less than 3hrs but when I got back I found his ability to speak clearly has gone. He struggles to think of what words to say at times, other times I can no longer understand wha5 he says. I knew there would come a time He would cease to speak but this would be if he is in a coma. For me most physically scary thing is majority of the time his eyes are rolling backwards into their sockets and I can see almost just the white of his eyes. He told me this afternoon that he hopes to make it to the weekend to make it easier for his son to come and say his goodbyes but doesn’t know if he is strong enough to last that long. This son, my step son, lives 3 hrs drive away and is devastated emotionally not only due to loosing his dad but that due to coronavirus he can’t even spend time with him as we head toward the final days. Within myself I feel, and dread, that my husband will only ge5 to enjoy very small number of nights in the new comfortable bed before his battle ends. ... View more

Hi Lindsay, by time line you are referring to how long he might live for ..... when he was diagnosed in October last year we were given estimated timeline for life expectancy of 4 mths to 18 mths. ... View more

It is approx 6 months ago my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and his fight with this horrid disease is coming to and end so quickly. He was not too bad one day and within 48 hrs he stopped eating, is very confused, extremely tired and fatigued, is sleeping and drowsing approx 20hrs most days. At this stage I am giving him 3 endone a day to keep him as pain free as possible. 2weeks ago I bought him a car model, at his request, to work on ..... he opened the box once and has no interest in it ever again. I am going to miss him when he passes but watching him slowly fading away is emotional agony ... View more