My heart goes out to you Darcy as my husband suffered mental health issues which was linked to his pancreatic cancer. Heartless as this might sound but you need to take care of yourself first, especially when he is in hospital. When he is in hospital and starts to get angry and verbally mistreat you, you need to explain to him you are not going to stay there if that is how he is going to treat you and just walk out. Walk out and leave him in the room. Talk to his nurse on your way out about what has happened can be good for nurses to try to help. You need to take care of your mental and physical health which might mean you might decide not to visit him in hospital each day. In our town the Palliative care team have a psychologist who assists patients and their families. If this is provided in your area this may be able to assist your husband but also yourself. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer in mid October last year. The mixture of emotions caused by trying to come to terms with the diagnosis, the impact of chemo on his body, the impact of him being an inpatient in oncology ward due to chemo side effects and related infections played heavily on his mind and he has suffered with mental health issues from not long after diagnosis onwards which gradually got worse. As the months progressed I found, for my mental health, I had to make time for me and also walk out of his hospital room on many occasions. My husband is now in last days but his passing is not being easy on him.
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