Hi Traci-Rene'e,   I know exactly what you are going through.  Cancer destroys everything in its path.  Like you and your husband we had so many plans.  I feel helpless.  I am very happy that your husband realizes how lucky he is to have a wife who loves and supports him like you.  I am very sad to hear about your Mom.  She is your angel and she will guide and protect you.  As of now, nothing has changed and it is unbearable.  I just want to love and support my wife through this horrible illness.  She is very angry at me.  99% of the time I am very patient but sometimes I ask her if she will ever stop being angry at me.  I've apologized for things that I don't even know that I have done.  It just seems that there is nothing that I can say to make things better.  Prior to her diagnosis like any other married couple we would have a disagreement and in a day or so it would be okay.  Once this happened, I am public enemy number 1.  It really hurts.  I just want my wife to stop ignoring and rejecting me.  I am not looking for anything in return...just kindness.   You and your family are in my prayers.   Your Friend,   Ralph ... View more

Definitely see a dietician !  You should be able to access one through your doctor. Ensure is much better than any of the other readily available alternatives ( Sustagen or Sanitarium) and my husband likes shakes made with the powder and a banana and a little ice cream. The hospital may have something even better. In WA the hospitals provide Fresubin which comes in several different formulations. I believe it it's only available through dieticians. ... View more

I am so sorry to hear about your husband.  my husband had chemo for few months which didn't work for him and he eventually decided to cease having chemo.  from my perspective it is a very personal choice whether to decide to have treatment or not.  I said similar to my husband and reassured him that I would fully support him with what ever decision he made.     with my husband deciding to ceasing having chemo we were not given any other treatment options.  the oncologist advised he would happily see my husband for regular appointments to check results of blood tests and organise for day stay in oncology ward for top of anything etc potassium.  it also meant for my husband that he got to spend more time at home that he had been.  few days after each chemo treatment he was having to be admitted back into hospital for approx 1 week due fluid retention or infection/s.   my workplace offers a counselling service that is accessible by staff and their family members.  may be check if your counselling service through your work is able to assist your daughter.  another possible option is seeking assistance through social worker at your local hospital.     thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs ... View more

I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your mum.  sending you my love and lots of hugs.  first few months after my husband passed away I felt like I was getting on starting a new way of living without him and all of a sudden one day the pain of missing him hit me and I started grieveing for him again.  I say again as I know I was grieving during his last few months.   It is now just over 18mths since I lost my husband, I still miss him and I probably always will.  I lost my mum (not to cancer) approx 15 years ago and I will always miss her also but the days get easier over time and things doesn't hurt as much.  I find there are days or things that are emotional triggers, I now try to look on these as times when I remember the good times and allow myself to cry if I want to. Take care of yourself  ❤️ ... View more

Hi ladies It certainly does help knowing you are not the only one suffering. Sadly, in all too many cases, mental health is not treated hand in hand with the cancer. In my experience, it is barely even recognised. My husband has been under the care of a psychiatrist since 2014 - long before cancer. He has suffered from anxiety for years and now with cancer is also suffering from depression. While he was having his “end of life crisis” and having a relationship with the young Asian lady on line who he thought he was going to have a life with if he survives (which he’s not to) I got the responses from his psychiatrist “I don’t see a problem with him taking comfort in someone online” and “what would you have me do push him into a state of despair “. Meanwhile, he had run away from home no longer wanting to be a husband and father and literally one step away from homelessness but the health professionals basically turned a blind eye as long as he was turning up for his chemo. I felt I was going mad and banging my head against a brick wall. They all refused to speak with me even though I was still the one there by his side even when he was treating me worse than he’s treated ANYONE in his entire life. Now he is back home and living a purposeful and more honourable life, that angry monster is always just simmering under the surface. My husband was a successful businessman, fantastic athlete and all round great bloke. The change in him has been almost 180 and he’s turned into such a narcissist- it blows my mind. It’s almost as if they want to you detest them so much you won’t miss them as much once he’s gone. I just never though I’d see the day where this is the life we are living. Our beautiful little family has been destroyed by the wreckless and evil things he has done ... but hey we don’t have cancer so apparently we’ll just never understand. Please!! (Insert eye roll). I always though he would have handled his diagnosis in a brave and stoic way ... being strong for is and ensuring we would be ok once he left us. Instead once he leaves, it will be a chance for us to heal  thank you so much to all the ladies who have shared your stories .. good to know I’m not alone x ... View more

Purpleheart23, I have had no contact with my step son during this entire year.  I have a lot of cousins in the town I live in and have been able to spend some times and days with some of them.  This year my own general health has not been good and I have had to have some medical treatments.  I am still physically recovering from the most recent medical treatment, specialist is happy with my progress.  I ... View more

Hi KEE1k1 Your post resonated many mixed feelings in me as I am looking at my / our journey from the other side as I plan with my family for a living funeral in the near future. The significant importance of you not being there at your husbands passing happened to a friend recently and I’m sure he new his time had come and his adoring wife also missed the opportunity to be with him at the last moment. She felt as though she had been cheated of that special last moment together it can’t be changed now but I feel her loss for sure. I wish you peace and my thoughts and best wishes go out to you and you family at this time. xoxo 🌺🌺🌺xoxo ... View more

No offence, but your ex-partner, from what you say, sounds like a jerk!  I have learned in life that some people are afraid of facing their partners' illnesses, and the only way they can cope is by running away;  but some are just plain CANCERS themselves; the fact that he wants to take your house sounds like he is a cold sociopath.  You are better without him, take comfort that his sickness is now gone, so you can start anew. It sounds harsh, but you are going to have a better chance at healing without someone who is going to keep you down.    -Your house is only a rental, let that bastard keep it... so he can rot in it forever!   Take Care Of Yourself, as long as you can, for your kids  🙂 ... View more

@Patches  your comment is very important to me!  To walk out when rules are broken is sooo difficult, breaking my commitment to help at all cost. But if I help at all cost (including being used and abused) I get treated with such contempt,  my help is not even useful. ... View more

Hi Darcy - saw your post and then just remembered   Going ok I think, he had a PET scan and has a hookup next week to see if suitable for PRRT at Peter Mac in Melbourne. The emotional roller coaster continues as have just had 4 days of bad pain but has turned a corner this morning and is outside watering the garden.   Thank you so so for checking in - how are you going    ... View more