My partner dumped me

[BJ1]

I have been going through cancer treatment since August, diagnosis in July & am 5 days out from my mastectomy surgery and my partner of nine years decided this morning he doesn't want to be with me anymore!!

I've been through so much in the last 6months and for this to happen right now is devistating to say the least, I'm heartbroken & shattered & have no idea what to do as he has told me he is keeping the house (we only rent) so now I also have to find somewhere to live for myself and kids!!

I can't forgive him for this and yes it's raw but tell me what does my immediate future look like after surgery? Then Radiation...I'm scared I won't be able to look after myself properly, my health and my kids! 

[Katekat]

Morning @BJ1,

So very sorry to hear that you're going through this so close to your surgery, it must be tough for you.

Have you got friends or family that can help you out? I hope you are all safe and OK for now 😘

You might also like to give 13 11 20 a call, and see if there's a community organisation or service locally or through Cancer Council to assist in some way. One that comes to mind, is perhaps ourLegal referral service or otherPro Bono Program services. But have a chat with our Information and Support consultants, they are best placed to talk through things with you and make recommendations.

Sending hugs!

-Kate

Cancer Council Online Community Manager

[ActuariesDiseas]

I am so sorry to hear that. If you have any family close, they might be able to help.

[BJ1]

Yes for the short term but what am I supposed to to long term? How do I cope feeling like I want to die now after fighting so hard to live. 

[Patches]

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through.  Have you thought about talking to social worker - they can be great to t all to and may be able to do referrals to different businesses for you.  

Main important thing is you and your kids being with your family for help and support.  Once your health improves you could start to concentrate on new home for you and your kids.

thinking of you and sending my love. ❤️

[OzStu]

It's a horrible situation for sure.  And I can understand you feeling like not doing anything and all of a sudden having so much to do, and you feel like you just can't be bothered.  I had an argument via txt msg with my only son  half way through my treatment and he told me to piss off and he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.  And he hasn't spoke to me since, and even called the cops on me when I tried to drop off a xmas present at his house.  Never even got to see him or speak to him.  I had to suffer through that at the same time as i didn't know whether I was going to live or die.  I still don't know actually.  Cancer has a habit of coming back. 

Why does your partner want to split up?   Is it because of the cancer?   If that is the case then none of this is your fault.   I would be telling him if he doesn't want to be with you anymore then go......as in he move out.

I'm single,  and haven't started dating or anything again yet.  But I've been thinking about this stuff.  And I'm thinking......maybe only a fellow cancer survivor can really understand where we are at.....and where we will always be at.   I've already seen how many people gave me a wide birth after I got cancer.  It's like they don't want to be around you in case you become a burden for them or something.  And this looks like what the case is in your situation.  Your partner doesn't want the burden.  He'd probably see it differently if he was a cancer survivor I'd imagine.

Really don't know what other advice to give you except that you have just as much right to stay in that house and him, and since he's the one who wants to split up,  and it's not because of any wrong doing from you......he should leave.   Someone posted a link to a dating site somewhere on here that was for cancer survivors or patients of whatever.   Maybe take a look at that when your feeling better.   Doesn't sound like it would be too hard to find someone more supportive then your ex.   xo

[Budgie]

Hi @OzStu,

I'm sorry you've had a falling out with your son. Don't give up on trying to reconcile. Life is all too short to quarrel over something that, in the scheme of things, is probably quite small. I learned too late not to sweat the small things in life, & its too late for me to reconcile with my father (he died the day before my youngest son was born); but you still have time. Even if your son keeps refusing to receive your attempts, at least you can know that you tried your best. I hope you both can start talking again soon. 🧡

Budgie

[DarthPeppy]

No offence, but your ex-partner, from what you say, sounds like a jerk! 

I have learned in life that some people are afraid of facing their partners' illnesses, and the only way they can cope is by running away;  but some are just plain CANCERS themselves; the fact that he wants to take your house sounds like he is a cold sociopath. 

You are better without him, take comfort that his sickness is now gone, so you can start anew.

It sounds harsh, but you are going to have a better chance at healing without someone who is going to keep you down. 

-Your house is only a rental, let that bastard keep it... so he can rot in it forever!

Take Care Of Yourself, as long as you can, for your kids  🙂