Resentment

[Deb1]

Hi all, I don’t know how to deal with this resentment I feel towards my partner. I feel like all I am here for is to care for him. And it is happiness that matters, I feel very miserable and selfish.

[Budgie]

Hi Deb1,

Have you spoken with anyone?  If your husband is unable to move around much due to fatigue, or whatever, there should be some palliative care he is able to access??  Maybe if you speak with his oncologist or GP they can give him a referral to a palliative nurse(s).  They should be able to organise some help through an occupational therapist.

Carers have a really hard time of things too, & they need support as much as the person with cancer does.  Have you taken time out for yourself?    Even a day out by yourself sometimes is a wonderful thing.  Spoil yourself with a treat at least once a week.  Do something you enjoy - all by yourself.

You also need to be able to download to someone just to get it all out & off your chest.  This site is very good, or you could speak with a counsellor or a member of clergy?  

My husband has recently had a 3 week holiday overseas with one of our sons.  While he kept saying he didn't need to go, I was very glad he had a break from me, & he enjoyed it thoroughly!  I don't think he realised just how much he did need to get away.  

Take care of yourself

Budgie

[Katekat]

Those are some great suggestions @Budgie!

@Deb1, not sure if you have ever looked at it, but there's also the Carer's telephone support group we run here at Cancer Council, that runs twice a month and is free of charge. It's facilitated by two counsellors here and is a great way to talk with others that are going through the same thing as you - your husband may also be interested @Budgie 

You can find out more by ringing 1300 755 632 and speak to one of the team, or I'd be happy to have one of them call you if you'd prefer - just send an email to onlinecommunity@nswcc.org.au with your best contact number and name.

Sending hugs 

-Kate 

Cancer Council Online Community Manager

[Budgie]

Thanks Kate,
My husband was seeing someone before we moved from Canberra, & reached out to someone last week, but, unfortunately hasn't had a reply from them. I will pass on your suggestion to him.
Thanks again 😊

[Deb1]

Thanks for your reply, I think I will see if I can talk to someone. The thing is I get I at off my chest, but nothing changes.

[Budgie]

You never know till you try 😊
All the best
Budgie