Terminal Acceptance

[Rachelmarie]

First time post, 

My Partner has been battling like a pro with bowel cancer since Feb,1 round of radiotherapy on 3rd round of chemo and been moved on to palliative care,just had a picc line fitted,I'm absolutely worn out ! I'm on leave from work battling all emotions.. how do you actually accept that all this treatment and no further forward  infact steps backward,

His cancer has spread to liver,lymph nodes and lungs .. I feel so overwhelmed and he is just taking it in his stride as he should ! But the lack of empathy is driving me crazy.. I feel so guilty for even reaching out for some advice.. 

[Mishy14]

I am so sorry Rachelmarie. My husband (age 54) diagnosed with neuroendocrine tumours in liver & other places since April. 3 chemo rounds & the last 3 months in hospital. First 2 months in Cardiac Ward because of heart issue. Zero empathy towards his cancer & reducing condition. Significant ulcer developed on sacrum because of lack of movement. Moved to Oncology ward for 'quality of life/quality of death' with a room with no window & the smallest TV ever seen. Apparently Palliative care is full & Hospice also. I feel, apart from basic pain management, there has been zero empathy shown to him or my family & we are made to feel like we are a bother for asking. We organised our own TV & tried to make his room a happy place. No-one talks to me & his doctor on leave for 3 weeks & Palliative doctor has never spoken to me. As if my heart is not breaking enough, it is further blown apart by this feeling of being invisible.

I hope you find support ... I don't know when or where ours will come from ... I am so exhausted.

[Susana_CCNSW]

Hello Rachelmarie,

I would like to say that it takes a lot of courage to reach out and express your feelings for all to see.

Thank you for doing so, as it is so hard to cope with everything that is happening for you and your husband right now. Cancer affects everyone not just the person diagnosed, and those who live it on a daily basis know how hard and overwhelming it is. I am pretty sure there are so many questions going through your head right now, I hope other members can share their experience caring for their partner/loved one. 

Below you can find some links on how to care for someone with cancer. I hope these could be of help.

https://cancer.org.au/caring-for-someone-with-cancer

https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/cancer-information/carers/

If you need to talk to someone for a few minutes or see if you are eligible for one of our services (Counselling/Peer Support) please call our information and support line on 131120 Monday to Friday from 9 to 5pm. 

Kind regards

Susana 

Cancer Council

Online Community

[Jodie77]

My partner had battled multiple myeloma since 2020. It’s been such a hard battle with different hospital visits. Transfusions bone marrow taken stem cell transplant. Too many things. 

he took it all in his stride so so positive never angry. So bloody hard to see how positive he was. 

I was his full time carer right to the end when he was put in palliative are. 

how do we get over it how do we move forward without our sole mate our true love 

thinking of you

[Karen70]

This will be a very difficult time for you, the only advice I can give you is to spend as much time as you can with him, I am thankful that I spent every waking moment in the hospital with my husband, as he passed away 51 days after his cancer diagnosis. You will somehow find the strength.

[Jodie77]

I spent every moment with my partner for the last 4 years. Every hard moment in and out of hospitals.  Our last week was spent together in palliative care until he left me in my arms. 

[Jodie77]

I spent every moment with my partner for the last 4 years. Every  moment in and out of hospitals.  Our last week was spent together in palliative care until he left me in my arms.