Thought I was coping pretty well......

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Ky
Occasional Contributor

Thought I was coping pretty well......

Hello. On the 8/12/2017 my dad was diagnosed with cancer.  It started in his lungs and has spread throughout his body.... brain/spine/stomach. It's been a roller coaster since then. I've been asked to be strong for my mum/dad and my kids. Which I have done to the best of my ability.  Now that stress is showing up physically. I'm learning that pushing down the pain is not productive,  not in this situation anyway.  How do you all cope?  

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Ky
Occasional Contributor

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Dads been taken into hospital with pneumonia.  He's not in a good way. They've had stop treating the cancer till he's better..... mum is really stressed. This helplessness is so heavy... 

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Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Hello Ky,

You need to take a break. Find someone you can download to.  

Has your father made connections with his palliative care team?  They are there for him & can offer advice & support for your father & you & your family.  You don’t have to be the only rock in the family. 

Please take care of yourself. 

 

All the best

Budgie 

Ky
Occasional Contributor

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Thank you Budgie Smiley Happy I endeavor to do better.  Joining up to this site is step 1.

 

Ky

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Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Hi Ky, I can echo what Budgie said.  You can only be strong for your family if you look after yourself, too- I know that sounds an impossible use of your time and energy, but it really will get you and your family through in the best shape possible.  The best way to do that is to outsource as much as possible- you could check with your Dad's palliative care team (or even the Cancer Council may know) if he is eligible for any government assistance such as extra money,  Home Help or taxi vouchers or practical stuff like that.  You could also keep a list of stuff you would like help with, so when people say "If there's anything I can do..." you have a meaningful and beneficial answer for them.  It may seem like an imposition, but most people who ask feel good that they can actually help in some way.  I wish you all good things, Emily

 

 

Ky
Occasional Contributor

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

 
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Ky
Occasional Contributor

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

Thank you Smiley Happy I really appreciate the advice Smiley Happy 

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Ky
Occasional Contributor

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

My dad passed away early this morning Smiley Sad

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Regular Contributor

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

I'm so sorry Ky.  Don't forget to be gentle with yourself as you grieve.  Keep posting whenever you need to.  Sending you huge gentle hugs, Emily

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Contributor

Re: Thought I was coping pretty well......

I am very sorry to hear that Ky. 

Please take care of yourself. 

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