Tips for caring success

[VM]

Well the puppo walker came for the first time and I can't express how happy I was and how happy my dogs were. They love her. Little things like feeling happy for 2 minutes is like taking an energy and happy pill

[Anonymous]

Having an attitude of gratitude is helpful too. When we focus on the positives rather than the negatives we tend to notice what we can do to make life better for both ourselves and our loved ones.

 

 

Today I am grateful for our two dogs who give us much joy.

[CalmCloud]

I agree that it is a matter of balance - should obtain an amount of information that you feel that can reduce your pressure yet not become too overwhelmed.

I work for a biotech company but when it comes to deal with my dad's illness I feel like there is so much yet so little that I can help. What I meant is,  even if I do have connections, the chances are like gambling to see if we can happen to have the "just about right medication" for him, and also to deal with all the depressed feelings within my family, a feeling of guilt can hardly go away.  He's under 60s years old and I am still very young that I haven't got a boyfriend yet, I mean, he could've enjoy a family joy instead of dealing all these sadness.

I guess a way to deal with is to let the emotion flows, just accept it instead of thinking why life is been so unfair to me, and be grateful, to see that everyday as god's gift. Read some books, and it can heal.

[Anonymous]

@CalmCloud 

I really like this talk on grief, early on it talks about life being "not what we ordered".

https://youtu.be/TxSd8f2Utpk

I do not know what stage your father is at but it is early days for my husband and I am taking things as they come, not thinking too far ahead and let the treatment process happen. His oncologist says there is no way of knowing who will have a positive response to chemo and who will not. 

Sitting with my feelings, acceptance, gratitude (as well as giving guilt a swift kick out the door) was a process for me which began  following a previous nearly terminal condition my husband had. Am coping heaps better  this time.

[MargieSM]

thank you, I've now joined C4HWC
virtual hug to you

[Anonymous]

@MargieSM 

It was @little_stitcher  who suggested that you join the C4HWC group, not me.  I suggested you join the Whipple Warrior Caregiver Support Group as the carers there can offer specific advice in relation to Whipple/ pancreatic cancer. 

I did join the C4HWC group but got removed as I posted the following (which I think they may have thought to be Covid related),  perhaps I should have specified that I felt that having a pancreatic cancer diagnosis is a difficult time and I thought it to be useful for the feelings we as carers have.

The Room of Ancient Keys
by Elena Mikhalkova

Grandma once gave me a tip:

During difficult times,
you move forward in small steps.
Do what you have to do, but little by little.
Don’t think about the future,
not even what might happen tomorrow.
Wash the dishes.
Take off the dust.
Write a letter.
Make some soup.
Do you see?
You are moving forward step by step.
Take a step and stop.
Get some rest.
Compliment yourself.
Take another step.
Then another one.
You won’t notice, but your steps will grow
bigger and bigger.
And time will come
when you can think about the future
without crying.
Good morning.

[little_stitcher]

Hi Darcy, I'm sorry you got removed from C4HWC.  Ellen Sue, the administrator, is usually so understanding and supportive but she's got a real bee in her bonnet about Covid for some reason, and won't allow even the faintest allusion to it.  I find it quite frustrating, because obviously it has made caring for our husbands so much harder and I'm sure we would all like to vent about it.  I think it's because it's an American based group and she tries to keep it totally apolitical, but in America Covid is also a political issue.  I hope you can find some great support soon. x

[Anonymous]

It's ok @little_stitcher  I can see how things can go off topic easily, so no hard feelings,  I have found the dedicated Whipple pancreatic cancer group to be really helpful as is targeted for our situation.

How are you managing?

[little_stitcher]

Pretty good.  My husband is now in the process of returning to work (he works in the IT department of a utilities company, so has been working from home since last year anyway) and is building up his fitness slowly.  And I recently got a job after 12months of unemployment (Medical Secretary in a Cardiology Practice), so we're both adapting to working again.  Lockdown is pretty hard, but it's not too different from what we've been doing during his treatment anyway.

[Anonymous]

Lovely to hear you have got a job now @little_stitcher  hope hubby continues to do well.