Tips to avoid a self-pity party

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Tips to avoid a self-pity party

Was feeling a little bit weepy early this week and was headed toward a pity party before putting on my big girl pants and intentionally getting on with what needed to be done. The turning point for me this time was being reminded that I had not had a shower in a few days ... yikes.

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When our loved ones health is affected by cancer I certainly think that there is a healthy way to grieve the losses we have without falling into the destructive emotion of self pity. My lovely counselor taught me how to be able to handle my emotions in a healthy way and to learn how to accept my feelings and not feel pressured to "get over them" or "move on" prematurely. Still a work in progress when it comes to maintaining an optimistic outlook, avoiding the stats and thinking of what could go right does not come easy to me.


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Amy Morin gives these tips as to what people can do to to stop a downward spiral:

1. Face their feelings
2. Recognise warning signs of downward spiral.
3. Question their perceptions
4. They turn their negative thoughts into behavioral experiments
5. They reserve their resources for productive activities
6. They practice gratitude
7. They help other people
8. They refuse to complain
9. They maintain an optimistic outlook


The full article and explanations of each of the 9 points can be found here:


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Occasional Contributor

Re: Tips to avoid a self-pity party

Hi Darcy: thanks so much for posting this, I hit No. 2 a few weeks ago.  I hadn't been eating due to anxiety from mum's diagnosis and realised I was going into a hole.  


I had to force myself to start eating again and looking at eating/supplementing in ways that would improve my brain health.  It's been working and also mum has had some good initial treatment outcomes and an outstanding/exceptional Haematologist looking after her.


Now, I've realised I'm a bit "under-stressed" due to not enough to do, so I have to rebuild to plan for a few months in future re: study/work etc.


I also recognise that helping people is very important.  This time has made my change my future study goals from business/office to community services/individual support care.  i thrive when I help others. 


I hope since posting this you're feeling a bit better, thanks again.

Not applicable

Re: Tips to avoid a self-pity party

@CMS2020  sending gentle knowing thoughts your way (although I go in the opposite direction of eating too much .... yikes 😵).


Encouraging response to treatment = mood lifting.


I hope you do find an occupational niche for yourself.  Having a satisfying work life contributes to our overall wellness as does participating in charitable work; it is well documented how volunteers are happier and healthier. 

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