The last several years, my mum had bladder cancer. She's had several blocks of treatment and now has the all clear, and is coming up to the last few months of "preventative" chemo. So she's lucky. Yet I'm still traumatised by the whole thing. I'm 46 and live at home with mum, who is 77 now. Small little things set me off. Today it was a reminder about putting a script in and earlier a phone call to book the next chemo. Practically, it's not stressful, but for some reason, my mind magnifies every little thing medically related to the point that I'm sick of it. Do other carers get this feeling or is just me? I'm so sick of urologists, oncologists, chemo, hospitals, biopsies, cystoscopies, etc. I know I'm not the patient but it's like I have a form of PTSD associated with when she got first diagnosed and especially considering dad passed away with cancer almost 7 years ago now. It has increased my panic attacks, insomnia, irritability, etc. and this then makes mum more anxious, causing a vicious circle. And there is no tolerance now on her behalf of the struggles that I go through each day when these occur, often with her causing them. She's just sick of them. We both just want a free mind. Is this asking too much?
