First of is WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY AND CONFUSED as this is surely going to relay to your wife and believe me she is going through enough hurt and mixed feelings without you adding your anger emotions to them plus all of that is not going to help her but stress her a lot more and she really doesnt need any of that.
A surgeon is just that a surgeon, they have no idea of what the life span will be for a cancer patient hence you need to TALK to your wifes specialist and again you probably won't get an answer as no matter how good the oncologist he/she is they are unable to give a basic timed life prognosis as everyone has differing cancers,differing treatments, different reactions to treatment, different out looks, different expectations etc etc.
If your wife want to go on this holiday and it may be the last time she gets to go away why are you making it difficult for her. Plan it, make good bookings, talk about it with your wife with enthusiasm you may not feel but you will show anyway.
I have inoperable pancreatic cancer and nearly into my 12th month chemo of it and we have just had a big setback with my last chemo not working and have found the two metastases in my liver have really taken off plus I now have a lot of small lesions. I am in constant pain every day but my fiance and I have just returned from a weeks holiday in Nth Qld, we get married in September and have already started planning our trip up Nth WA to Kununurra for about 4 weeks which means I will have to skip some chemo.
I have a big white board that I have my bucket list on and my fella is quite happy to take me wherever I want to go before I die. Basically he wont deny me anything within reason of course.
The only times my man has yelled at me is when he thinks I'm not looking after myself like I should be especially with eating and he knows I need to eat and eat a lot.
We try and live our lives as if I have many years to go even though for me every day I wake up it is the first day of the rest of my life and I try I keep and them active.
Don't deny your wife some happiness but try and join in with her happiness and yes sit down and talk but don't get angry she doesnt deserve that from the man she married and loves.
Maz