Hi, so sorry to hear about your husband. My husband also has stage 4 secondary liver mets. He was diagnosed just prior to Christmas in 2012. It was the most devastating news to deal with - you will go through so many different feelings and it might be helpful to read about the "stages of grief", at the very least it will assure you that your feelings are normal and help you to recognise and deal with each stage. All of us know what you are going through - it is a painful emotional journey, eventually you will reach a point where you will be able to accept what is happening. In the meantime be kind to yourself, don't let this illness redefine your relationship with your husband. Be prepared to be the toughest you will ever have to be, use reputable sites such as these to educate yourself and go to appointments with questions - if you don't understand something ask again and again until they put it in language that you can follow. Define boundaries for family and friends early - people will want to visit and help in any way they can...this can be good but it is also very difficult to deal with the constant intrusions into your private space. I found that advocating for my husband to get optimum treatment allowed both of us to feel far more pro-active in dealing with his illness. If the treatment offered for your husband involves spending time in a chemo day unit be prepared to be pleasantly surprised, you will be surrounded by people who are happy and positive, they will discuss their illnesses openly - not in the hushed tones that "outsiders" use. They will be a fantastic source of information and support. If you are able to discuss your feelings with your husband, don't feel that you need to be strong for him, this is something that you are going through together and will be able to deal with if you support each other. It gets better, I promise.
