stubborn dad

[jordynlei]

hi everyone, 

a few months ago we got the devastating news my dad had cancer, he found out it was early stage so they booked him in for an Operation to remove it. Which they did. 
Last week we were told he was Cancer Free! 
but then our happiness was taken away within a few day’s, dad was coughing black stuff up and moving around in pain, he went for an X-RAY to find out he had Fluid in his lung, on that same day they took another X-ray and he went back today for the results & They said his cancer is rare and it’s incurable.. they told him he won’t live past 50 because if it spreads it will spread to the brain 😢 My dad is only 45. 

I feel like my world is crushed, I can’t live without my dad. I don’t want to accept this. 
in the meantime my dad has been rebelling, he’s scared, he is doing things he wouldn’t usually do and he’s not helping himself. He’s still so young, he’s got 7 of us kids and the youngest is 6. 

desperate for support as I live hours away from my family. I’m scared and feel powerless right now. 

[Budgie]

Hi @jordynlei,

I'm sorry you're going thru this pain, but you've taken a great step in joining this community. Cancer is a devastating thing & it might seem like the end of the world. But while your dad is still alive, spend as much time with him as you can. Yes, he is young, & the prognosis isn't great, but, that doesn't mean the prognosis is right. Your dad might live for a long time yet. It depends alot on his attitude.
You all sound like a close knit family, so you can lean on each other for support, but also, get some counselling. The Cancer Council has a number you can call & speak with someone who can offer good advice. Most importantly, talk with your dad, about his illness & about his death, funeral arrangements etc. While this is painful, it can also be therapeutic. Also talk about your family's history, ask questions about when he was young etc. You may also like to record/film the conversations. Does he have a bucket list? If he's fit enough to do things, do them.
Relax. Try not to stress. What is going to happen, will happen, & while you can't stop it, do all you can to make the best of it. It might be a horrible time but when you feel the need to vent, you can do it on here - let it all out & we will help you as best we can.
Lots of hugs to you & your family.

Budgie

[jordynlei]

Thank you Budgie I appreciate the kind words and will take you up on that advice.