Update

[#1]

Hi I introduced myself sometime ago and only now i have been able to log back in. Just found out yesterday my boyfriends cancer is terminal.They don't know how long he has and chemo starts in a week.What are the chances of him surviving?

[Jules2]

Hi Helen Am so sorry to hear of your boyfriend's news. That is tough to have to get your heads around. thinking of you both. Julie xo

[Sailor]

Hi Helen37 Tough to get that news - I'm assuming it is not a good cancer to have. What type is it? Regards Sailor A ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what a ship is for. Anon

[#4]

He has pancreatic cancer which is an agreesive cancer it has spread fast agressive cancers normally do and he has only had this we suspect since december of last year

[Sailor]

Hi Helen That is not a good news cancer! That being the case, there are people around who consistently live a lot longer than the average and have a good quality of life whilst doing so. One friend of mine was very active and had a chemotherapy pump that she wore like a shoulder bag all the time and she lived a lot longer than anticipated. So don;t think that all aggressive chemo is going to knock a person out and leave them with a poor quality of life. It is still not good news. You need to do some thinking about yourself and don;t be afraid to ask for help for yourself. The cancer helpline 13 11 20 is a good place to start.. Regards Sailor Any fool can carry on, but a wise man knows how to shorten sail in time. Joseph Conrad

[Mrs_Elton]

Hi Helen37, My husband is also terminal, his primary cancer was oesophageal with secondaries in his abdomen/peritoneum(spelling?) and a secondary tumour on the brain was discovered in early December. The unknown time frame is very distressing, we were given a prognosis in December of 2-3 months, obviously we hope they are wrong. I feel like I am walking a tightrope, trying to keep the balance between being 'too real' and 'being too hopeful'. I am scared of getting my hopes up too high as then I will have further to fall. Talk with your boyfriend's oncologist/medical team about all the questions that you have, they may not be able to give you all the answers, but if you don't ask, they're not likely to tell you anything. It is exhausting being the partner/carer, try to remember to take time out for yourself too. A very hard lesson to learn, I know, I am still working on that myself!! Thinking of you and sending you strength and courage, Jill.