What to do

Occasional Visitor

What to do

Wow this is such a dilemma ...my husband has stage 3 cancer affecting stomach, oesphagus, lymph glad is affected. His heart is not good..do we accept an operation with high risks of death or worse still sloe death from various complications..pain. Or do we take the palliative care option..slowly deterioration waiting to die..losing ability to swallow and eat..a painful death.

what to do???????

Frequent Contributor

Re: What to do

Hello lurline,


Those choices are...I don't have the words. I'm not sure....by the expression of your post that I have read...is your husband's diagnosis eventually terminal?


If that's...correct (but i'm hoping that i'm simply wrong). Then i guess....it comes down to the quality of life. If the hospital is willing to perform an high-risk operation, how long or how much will it improve his life?


Palliative care offers quality of life but does not offer active treatment. They provide comfort for individuals, who have opted out of continuing treatments. But without combating care, "it could but not necessarily" shorten they're life.


Both options will offer the best pain management available to him, no matter which path you select.


It comes down to the quality of life and what you determine that to be.

Frequent Contributor

Re: What to do

Hi Lurline,


Sorry if this comes across as a bit unsympathetic, but...


What does your husband want? Has he got some "fight" left in him or has he already given up? When it comes down to it, it is more about what he wants for his life than anything else. You can help him through his chosen journey or you can jump ship - that is up to you.


In my opinion, it is always worth fighting - if nothing else, it gives you something to get up for each day rather than simply curling up in a corner waiting to die. And then there is the hope that a new day will bring a new protocol that will result in improved outcomes.


The Ivor-Lewis procedure is a relatively regular procedure these days and gives promise of a high quality of life following the oesophageal-gastic resection. So get your husband to speak with the oncologist and surgeon about what they recommend and put some faith in them to know what they are doing.


Big hugs to you and your husband and best wishes for whatever he decides.


Warm regards,


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