When is Enough / Enough

[PeterK]

Hi Lampwork54
Just a quick update, I’m 14 weeks post chemo had FLOT & 10 weeks post radiation therapy to 1 spot on spine, latest CT/PET scan (last week) came back “it” has materesised to numerous other locations as well as lymph nodes inclusive of 3 extra spots on the spine.
Down to Perth next week for mapping prior to 11 rounds of radiation therapy in late April/May.
Oncologist has recommended radiation only to spine to help reduce possible further impact on mobility, however considering advancement of “it” in 14 weeks and drs comment “looking for quality over quantity” this scared the HELL outa me.
Yes I’m still fighting but I’m very much aware that the odds don’t look to be that good.
Wishing you all the very best in your journey & I “Thank You” for your your kind thoughts & wishes.
Rich Blessings 🌺🌺 Peter 🌺🌺

[DarthPeppy]

Hi Peter,

Whatever happens, this life here on this ball of rock is not the end; please believe me when I say that there is MORE after this... I'm not a new-age hippy, I used to think that when we die, we just turn to blackness, but several years ago, when my sister committed suicide, certain things happened that shocked my beliefs and changed my mind.

I don't know how long I've got, I guess nobody does, having a terminal illness just makes things all the more horrible. But I believe there is more than this...

[PeterK]

Hi Darth Peppy
“Thank You” for your comments, much appreciated, yes I’m a believer that life or at least the spirit lives on after death.
Sorry to hear of your loss as my thoughts and best wishes are with you.
🌺🌺🌺

[KaceJax]

Everything will be okay, just believe in your heart. Struggles are real, but it's our option to make ways to be happy. Always find happiness in little things. I, myself, am finding self-fulfillment in just brewing coffee for my partner. How I wish I can do this for long until our hair turned to gray. 

[PeterK]

Hi KaceJax
“Thank You” for taking the time to reply to my post, much appreciated.
I just love coffee & mixing various beans together and creating some interesting flavours also some not so good ones as well but still it’s a learning experience.
I have listened to my heart and have talked to my family about my wishes, thoughts, desires and yes fears as well.
So I’m going with “quality over quantity”
and I’m content & comfortable with my decision.
Wishing U & yours all the very best for the future. Kind Regards 👍 Peter 👍

[kj]

Hi Peter

Quality of life over quantity is definitely a hard decision,you have chosen quality,I had a friend in the same situation ,she also chose quality,unfortunately the mind and body reach a certain point where a person chooses what is best for them,you definitely are not a quitter,and are comfortable with your decision I wish you well, and hope that I have enough strength,courage and wisdom to make the best choice for myself as you have done if I was in a similar situation.

[ActuariesDiseas]

Hi @kj 

Why did you say that you don't have enough strength, courage and wisdom to make the best choice for yourself? What bothers you?

[PeterK]

@kj

Hi and “Thank You” for your words of thoughtful reflection as much appreciated.

My last chemo finished 16 weeks ago, while walking with a cane, outwardly I look / feel “normal” .

It’s all the S##T going on inside that I and others cant see that I think has created a false sense of security.

Strength, courage & wisdom & peace (if U want to chuck this world in as well) come with knowledge and I am sure your choices will come from these as well.

May your journey be a good one and I wish you and yours all the very best for today and the future.

Kind Regards & Best Wishes

👍👍Peter 👍👍

[kj]

Hi Peter

Thanks for your kind words, a person has a limb in a cast the injury is visible,what is unseen, what is going on inside your body and mind that is invisible ,you may let out a groan from a stab of pain or your physical capabilities are diminished ,unfortunately you are living with cancer and you do what your body and  mind allow at any given time.

My friend was a Buddhist and she was at peace facing her immortality.I hope you can have the same .

kind regards and also best wishes to you and your family

kj

[sch]

Hi Peter,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

For context, I've lost many family members to cancer, had cancer myself and I was involved in a serious auto vehicle accident that took me a lot closer to death than my cancer, and I certainly was not expected to recover from that one either. It was a protracted painful recovery with very little hope of a good outcome.

Before that accident, I was certain that I would choose to die over losing any of my quality of life (I was in my 20's). But in the aftermath of the accident and spending time with people worse off than I was, I learnt I had to change my expectations of what a good recovery was or what I considered quality of life.

I learnt to love and appreciate different aspects of my life, my family and loved ones, and who I was.

Now, I'm not trying to suggest one thing or another to you, just give a slightly different perspective to this.

The line, no doubt, is different for everyone and it's a very complicated subject.

But that line can change given our perspective and expectations.

I wish you well Peter.

-s