I'm sorry that you are going through this, it's something that no one would wish on any living being.
Do you have family and support of friends etc? Are you still having follow ups and what is happening with any treatments? Have you looked around to see if there are other options available to you? (I am really hoping to not offend you in anyway with the questions, and if you don't want to respond to any please don't feel obliged) As for anyone saying they don't believe you have cancer....I wouldn't be saying anything nice back to them, that is something that really gets to me is that people who are ignorant and don't understand anything of the process BUT feel qualified to say something.
How very sad for you.
I don't know how doctors can continue to give time frames to people. The truth is this:
We are all going to die.
Nobody knows when.
I met a friend recently that spent the last three months waiting to die, constantly anxious and frantic about what was going to happen. She had also been given a terminal diagnosis. I asked her what else she would have done if she hadn't had a terminal diagnosis. Her answer was to spend time being happy with her daughter, gardening, laughing with friends..... I pointed out that her doctor had stolen her hope! She had wasted three months of precious days dying, when she could have been living. We laughed about it. She promised to start cherishing each precious day, focusing on what she could do and the people that she loved. She is much happier.
Another friend was given a terminal diagnosis last year. Then her doctor asked her if she'd like to participate in a clinical trial. Turns out she has the right biology for a new drug and now her metastatic tumours are shrinking. She has longer than she thought she did.
We are all going to die.
Nobody can accurately predict when.
We should make the most of every single day.
I was also diagnosed with an aggressive cancer with a high rate of recurrence. Maybe it will be what kills me. Maybe not. But I am not dying today! And that gives me one whole day of life to live.
When times are bleak I like to remember the quote from the movie 'Shawshank Redemption': Get busy living or get busy dying! It reminds me to choose living.
Perhaps these thoughts will help you too. I hope so. Life is so precious.
My Consultant (at the time) gave me three to six weeks to live. He delivered this message as he was leaving the ward room. this news had caused two responses.
Firstly, for my soul mate it was the end and she did everything she could in preparation for my death. Her anticipatory grief was overpowering and consuming. Her response was to prepare palliation and to give me a pain-free exit.
My response was like the doctor had waved the red flag at a bull and from that point I engaged every resourse i had to defy this prediction. faith is important, self belief paramount, i had far too many goals to achieve to be robbed by this 'know it all".
I have recovered, but the delivery of the prognosis still stings my partner's thoughts. She remains afraid to love me with the intimacy of the past. She remains with the concept that that I am cancer, bless she remains very protective. nearly fifteen months later she is slowly coming to believe that I am alive and that each day must be seized and we should live life to the max. We have been blessed to carry on.
F U Cancer
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