Loneliness

[Markcoz]

Hey, Deb1,

I am reading your post and I am sorry to hear this. The reason you cant cope as good in the evening as in the day is because your energy decreases during the day. When we feel more tired, emotions are more likely to control us and we get pulled towards behavior which we actually don't want. Try to take care of your energy and see the evening as the calming time before sleep. Occupate it with a thing to do which you told youself you will do in the day.  Believe in yourself. You can.

I lost both my parents in my early 20’s (now im 28). I can say with confidence that i deal with it well now. I want to help people like us and maybe you feel like replying two simple questions. It might help you to gain some clarity.  Excuse me if it's inappropriate, feel free to ignore. Take care.

1. As someone who lost a parent(s)/ family member, what are the 2 biggest struggles you’re dealing with? 
2. Regarding your loss, what would you wish for more than anything else? 

That’s it. I wish you all the best on your journey in life.

[Deb1]

Hi,

Thank you for your response.

The 2 big things I struggle with are not having someone to share your day with and having children interstate.

[Deb1]

I struggle with the absolute loneliness and being isolated. The one thing I would like to change is to have him back.

[Deb1]

How are you going with all this self imposed isolation?

[Markcoz]

Hey Deb1,

Thank you for your reply. So kind of you to share.  My mother died 4 years ago and my father 2 years ago. I became a father just before he passed away (he had dementia so he couldnt understand he became a grandfather or had my son), But i became a father, a husband, bought a house, took 2 new jobs, had to deal with living together with my gaming addicted brother and his GF, besides this my wife is from asia and didnt understand our langauge so i was alone, in survival mode. But now, my son is 2,5.. I can say since one year life has been stable. The Isolation part i dont feel. I am dealing very well with my parents passing away. This thanks to alot of introspection, studying, reading, watching YouTube teachers about grief/loss/spirituality. I know alot know and i know myself way better than every before. I can also say i am happier than ever before dispite losing my parents. Which might sound crazy but its true.

[linda8]

Hi Deb1. I feel the same. My husband passed away last July & I have moved 5 hours away from where we lived to be closer to my brothers. I too find the days alright, but at night I'm so lonely. Since I've been by myself I tend to go to bed really late so I'm so tired I will go to sleep quickly. I made a decision when I arrived that I would not have a drink unless I was with other people & I don't miss it. Give it a go.

Linda8