Mummy died


Mummy died

I lost my beautiful Mum 2 months ago from bowel cancer.. although Mum was diagnosed 4.5 years ago (stage 4 with metastasise to lung and peritoneal) I never ever allowed myself to to think she would die. 10 weeks before Mum died we were told by her oncologist that she had entered her terminal phase... it all happened so suddenly and was such a shock.. I cared for her at home.. but, she didn’t know she was dying. The last few days of her life was just a blur I can’t remember much. 
I am not coping with her loss at all. I am 26 and the thought of being without her for the rest of my life is unbearable.. she was an amazing mum and sacrificed so much for me and I have so many regrets.. so many things I could have done better. I don’t feel that life is worth continuing..  I am not married or have no kids of my own. I am very depressed, sad and miss her so much. 

Super Contributor

Re: Mummy died

Hi Neeks92,

I am very sorry for your loss. I know it hurts. I lost my mother to cancer 11 years ago. I still think about her practically every day.
Life goes on, though, & we must live it as best we can.
It sounds very much like you need someone to talk with. There are lots of options for you - call the Cancer Council's line, call Lifeline, talk to your GP or your local priest. Even just talking to a friend can help, but you need to talk about it. Do you have siblings, & is your father still alive? Perhaps you can talk with them?

Instead of thinking about things you regret, try instead thinking of all the good times you had with your Mum. There is no point in dwelling on things you can't change.

Look for the positives in each day. They are there, despite how gloomy you may feel. I'm sure your Mum wouldn't want you to be depressed, not living your life to the fullest. Please do try - maybe take up a hobby. What did your mother enjoy doing? Did she have a hobby - one that perhaps you could take up? Please don't give up. There is too much doom & gloom in the world already.

It will take time, & we all grieve differently, but you will find your way. Just give it time.


Frequent Contributor

Re: Mummy died

Hello Neeks92,


When I read your situation, it sounded very similar to mine but I'm just a few years older than yourself. I understand where your coming from and Budgie is completely correct. You are never alone and there are other resources which they already suggested that would be perfect for you. 


Have you considered looking over old photo albums to help bring you comfort and remember the better times before she was ill? Sometimes the illness can dominant your most recent memories. 


Maybe wearing a piece of her jellwery or a item of clothing could bring some form of comfort. E.g. like slippers, a scarf or something similar.


Or sleep with a toy she might of had during the night, to bring smoothness of mind?


Or simply cry and hold something close while you do, sometimes people need to get things out of their chest.



Occasional Contributor

Re: Mummy died

Just read your post and it's so similar to what I'm going through. It's been exactly one month since my mom passed away from stomach cancer and it's been so painful. She was only 58 and the healthiest person I've ever known. I'm 25 and during my whole life she's been my one and only best friend. The relationship we had was so close and it's so hard to think that I'm not going to see her anymore. Thoughts of regret come and go daily, I wonder if I could have done things differently to make her feel better or if I could have been a better daughter to her. I have tried to do painting as a hobby as it has distracted me. However, I think it's time now for me to stop keeping all of these feelings inside and actually seek for a professional's advise as I can't cope with this on my own. I don't actually have an advise for you but I think it should be good for you to talk to someone that can actually guide you through all of this and even though she's not with you, her love for you will never fade away

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