My life after the death of my beloved husband

[Dotty_and_Rex]

Hello everyone,it has been 4 years 5 months since my darling husband Rex lost his battle against brain cancer.Everyone tells me how brave and strong I am and I suppose that is true..but my heart was so broken and still is to this very day. He never complained about his cancer and passed away with dignity and grace,all he could think about was the little children who had this horrible disease called cancer.He told me he had a good life up until he was diagnosed and did not regret anything. It was me who silently suffered and secretly planned my future without him amidst outbursts of sobbing alone.It was me who got so angry and frustrated to see the love of my life dying each day and it was me who could not cope looking after him any longer ( I was not strong enough to lift him off the floor when he fell over time and again ) I suffered with guilt a lot when he was put into palliative care hospice.After lots of grief counselling I am feeling better about myself. So even after all this time my heart aches for him but I am not in deep seated misery and self loathing anymore.My love to anyone going through your own experiences with cancer,you are true heroes in my eyes. ❤️❤️ Cheers Dorrise

[Dotty_and_Rex]

Hi everyone just to inform you Rex had Lung cancer and Brain cancer xx

[little_stitcher]

Hi Dotty, I'm so glad you feel better about yourself- I don't know you at all but I absolutely know you did your best for your husband.  I think guilt and that horrible sense of helplessness are an unfortunate part of caring for someone with cancer, but they don't indicate that we have failed, but that we are finite.  Take care of yourself my friend, love and hugs, Emily