Peoplejust don't get it

[n2141116]

Hi I've recently lost my dad in September from esophageal and thyroid cancer. I miss him terribly and just wish he was here. My mum and I cared for him at home for most of his illness and it was so hard to watch him deteriate as he had been such a strong independent person pre cancer. I work within the health industry and I have been so surprised by the lack of empathy showed by only a few of my colleagues. ( I have also been very blessed by the beautiful messages and acts of kindness of many people throughout this journey). I just feel that these colleagues just don't get it because it hasn't happen to them. They just expect that you will be back to the same as before the diagnosis. It's only been 2 months!! I just feel like not talking to anyone in case they say something that I will perceive as insensitive. Anyway enough venting for now.

[JC]

Oh you are so correct. People do not get it....my wife is battling a very aggressive type of breast cancer and I, like you, find myself avoiding some situations where there will be conversations about her plight. Some very helpful (not!) comments have been, "my auntie died of breast cancer it was terrible" I have been in a situation where work collegues have suggested that it is the near by radio towers that caused it and they continued on with this conversation in front of me for a few minutes.My personal favourite was a letter from a church group explaining why god does this and the power of Prayer. I am not religeous so why they bothered is beyond me. I have had close friends fall off the radar completely and people feeling it is o'k to discuss the situation in front of my children. I am so sorry for your loss and do empathise with you.....People really don't get it.

[Catherine251]

I also work in the health industry and have been astonished at the amount of insensitive comments from colleagues. I think people are uncomfortable with painful situations and feel that they need to fill the void with ill-thought statements. Hugs to you at this tough time

[RenyHill]

Hi I also agree others just don't get it and they don't know what to say to some one either with or sharing the Cancer journey. my husbands pet hate is when people say to him "Oh but you look so well" when he tells them he has NHL and feels like crap! love and hugs to you and your family. RenyHill