The loss of someone in your life that you had contact with every day is really hard to deal with. a couple of months has passed by now and I feel myself trying to convince myself I am dealing with it. But it’s hard to accept that I will never be able to talk to him again, never get to hug him again, never have that total understanding that we had again. I don’t think I ever realised how much careing for him during that final week would effect me. The memories of what we went through are still so vivid and I am finding myself reliving a lot of went on. It’s hard to explain watching someone take there last breath on this earth, even thought I knew it was coming I still had some hope that he would make it through. I guess I was just holding on to some hope during the hardest challenge of my life.
As I journey through grief I am trying to find myself, my place in the world without him. I find that I have a lot more compassion for people. I find myself making connections with random people and for some reason helping other people if only for a moment is helping me deal with my own grief. It’s hard to explain. My grief has been such a rollercoaster of emotion that at times is so hard to deal with and other times I feel a weird sense of peace knowing he is no longer suffering.
