About Leesnell

Leesnell

Hi, hope you are ok. I can relate to how you are feeling. Sometimes you need some time alone and other times not so much. I find it very hard to be comforted all the time. I know they mean well and most poeple don’t really know the right things to say. It takes time to process everything that has happened. His birthday was at the beginning of July and was a emotional day that I spent with one of our good friends remembering some of the good times we had. We laughed, cried, cursed. The range of emotions you feel in one day are sometimes hard to process. You have no need to be sorry for asking questions, I am happy to help where i can. It helps me also to understand that I am not the only one that feels like that.

Leesnell

So sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 24 years 4 months ago. It one of the hardest things to do watch someone you care for more than anything go through that. My thoughts are with you. Look after yourself the best you can.

Leesnell

Today, 4 months since he passed. Still so very hard to get used to how much I miss him, feels like I lost a part of myself the day he left. My best friend, my husband, my soulmate how I wish this never happened. We were supposed to grow old together but sadly this was not meant to be. Love you forever.

Leesnell

I feel for you. My husbandof 24 years passed earlier this year. We spent 24 years together and I also cared for him at home in the final days. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, helping the love of my life through this final stage of his life. I am so glad I was there through this but the memories are still so hard to deal with. 3 months on and it still hurts so much, still can’t get my head around the fact that he is no longer here. Your post is so similar to what I felt that I really do hope you are doing ok.

Leesnell

Today has been 3 months since he passed and life has not gotten any easier. You don’t realise how much you relied on that person until they are no longer here. Spending 24 years with someone things just seem to work. Now all the decisions I have to make are mine and I didn’t realise how hard this would be. Being so out of touch with the world after years of careing for someone it’s hard to reconnect with people.

Leesnell

The loss of someone in your life that you had contact with every day is really hard to deal with. a couple of months has passed by now and I feel myself trying to convince myself I am dealing with it. But it’s hard to accept that I will never be able to talk to him again, never get to hug him again, never have that total understanding that we had again. I don’t think I ever realised how much careing for him during that final week would effect me. The memories of what we went through are still so vivid and I am finding myself reliving a lot of went on. It’s hard to explain watching someone take there last breath on this earth, even thought I knew it was coming I still had some hope that he would make it through. I guess I was just holding on to some hope during the hardest challenge of my life. As I journey through grief I am trying to find myself, my place in the world without him. I find that I have a lot more compassion for people. I find myself making connections with random people and for some reason helping other people if only for a moment is helping me deal with my own grief. It’s hard to explain. My grief has been such a rollercoaster of emotion that at times is so hard to deal with and other times I feel a weird sense of peace knowing he is no longer suffering.

Leesnell

Just when I think I am doing ok I wake up and am a complete mess. It’s seems to be getting harder the more time that passes. I just miss the connection we had, that totally understanding that we had of each other without having to even talk about things, the intimacy, just having someone to share things with or to give advise when needed.

Leesnell

Hi, my condolences for the loss of your grandmother. It’s hard to deal with the loss of a close relative. It leaves us with so many unanswered questions and feelings that are hard to understand when you have never had to deal with this before. Just when I think I am doing ok, I find myself completely breaking down. I went through the no eating stage, didn’t want to get out of bed and was getting anxiety at the simplest things. It’s horrible to go through and still try and function . Maybe just talking to your mum and about your feelings will help, sometime we need to just unload all the stuff we are thinking to make sense of it all. I don’t know maybe it will help maybe not. Look after yourself as best you can, my thoughts are with you ❤️

Leesnell

Hi, thanks your thoughts. It is still very hard to get use to the fact that he is no longer here. The loneliness I feel is hard to describe. Losing that connection you have with a person you love so deeply is probably the hardest part for me to cope with.

Leesnell

Hi Nina6, i appreiciare that you took the time to read up about MDS as most poeple have never heard of it. Over the years his tiredness was put down to the fact he was on so many pain killers for osteoarthritis in both hips. He had a hip replaced in 2014. I supposce i can spend the rest of my life thinking of the what ifs.. but it will never bring him back. I try to remember the good times we had. Just so hard to adjust to this new chapter in my life.

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