About Leesnell

Wyandra

Hi. I do want to express my heartfelt sympathy on the loss of your dear husband. My bowel cancer journey has only just started and I had questions about my own life and it was not nice. But you have had the devastation of loss. I am so sorry. I don't believe 'time heals all wounds' but I am a committed Christian with faith in a loving God and eternity. Take care and somehow let God's love be a comfort.

Anonymous

Hi Geri I did reply earlier but I’m new at this and think it must of gone into cyber space, sorry. Thank you for your reply, I am sorry for your loss, it is so hard to cope right now and yes our heartache is very real. I was going to write to the hospital, his specialist, the emergency dept that let him go home, I was so angry at them, they did this I thought. As the days/weeks went by or maybe even more recently, I realised that he didn’t want to stay in hospital and maybe he had a feeling that he needed to be home with me instead of in a hospital bed, maybe he sensed something more than he let on. Maybe we both did? It doesnt changed anything, I miss him every day, I cry every day, I want to turn back time to when we thought he had a throat infection and it healed and we went on with our happy life where he too was looking forward to a few more years of work then his long service leave before retirering. We had an amazing bond, he was my everything, we did everything together, we didn’t have a lot or any friends really just us and our family. As I said in Leesnell post I am grateful to find a place we can share and read and offer support to each other. Our hubbys would want us to keep going, they wouldn’t of left us if they didn’t have to, and they know we will get through this. We have to believe this.

Leesnell

I feel for you. My husbandof 24 years passed earlier this year. We spent 24 years together and I also cared for him at home in the final days. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, helping the love of my life through this final stage of his life. I am so glad I was there through this but the memories are still so hard to deal with. 3 months on and it still hurts so much, still can’t get my head around the fact that he is no longer here. Your post is so similar to what I felt that I really do hope you are doing ok.

Leesnell

Today has been 3 months since he passed and life has not gotten any easier. You don’t realise how much you relied on that person until they are no longer here. Spending 24 years with someone things just seem to work. Now all the decisions I have to make are mine and I didn’t realise how hard this would be. Being so out of touch with the world after years of careing for someone it’s hard to reconnect with people.

Katekat

Sending hugs @Leesnell

Leesnell

Just when I think I am doing ok I wake up and am a complete mess. It’s seems to be getting harder the more time that passes. I just miss the connection we had, that totally understanding that we had of each other without having to even talk about things, the intimacy, just having someone to share things with or to give advise when needed.

Leesnell

Hi, my condolences for the loss of your grandmother. It’s hard to deal with the loss of a close relative. It leaves us with so many unanswered questions and feelings that are hard to understand when you have never had to deal with this before. Just when I think I am doing ok, I find myself completely breaking down. I went through the no eating stage, didn’t want to get out of bed and was getting anxiety at the simplest things. It’s horrible to go through and still try and function . Maybe just talking to your mum and about your feelings will help, sometime we need to just unload all the stuff we are thinking to make sense of it all. I don’t know maybe it will help maybe not. Look after yourself as best you can, my thoughts are with you ❤️

Leesnell

Hi Nina6, i appreiciare that you took the time to read up about MDS as most poeple have never heard of it. Over the years his tiredness was put down to the fact he was on so many pain killers for osteoarthritis in both hips. He had a hip replaced in 2014. I supposce i can spend the rest of my life thinking of the what ifs.. but it will never bring him back. I try to remember the good times we had. Just so hard to adjust to this new chapter in my life.

Leesnell

To nina6, Thankfully I was able to be with my husband till the end, and it was so hard to see the love of my life go through that. Everything happened so fast and I feel that there was so much left unsaid. It seems to be getting harder to cope with the loss as more time goes by. People keep asking me when I will return to work, keep telling me that it will get better with time, tell me that if there is anything they can do just ask. I don’t think most people know what to say and these seem to be automatic responses from everyone. It hard to hear sometimes as all I really want is to have him here and that’s just not going to happen. Feeling lost , lonely, angry and sad all at the same time. Thank you for your thoughts

Leesnell

Hi still having a hard time accepting that he is gone. We spent so much time together over the 24 years we had together. Having no children we had a very strong connection to each other that most people would not understand. As proud as I am of myself for looking after him at home in his final stages it is hard to get past what you actually have to go through during this time. Trying to get on with things as best I can but still very emotional. Thanks for your thoughts.

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