Thank you guys. I've decided to play more dance music and possibly plan to pirouette
131 replies and 14 pages.
Very good work people.
Phil - I forgot to say that is a lovely photo of you. Your haircut looks great and again, you're very brave.
You look really strong and fit. Well done.
you may may be right- I need to dance but I just can’t find the right song for my mood at the moment.
All I can say is hard cheese is better than no cheese- It’s something! Life without cheese, I can’t even go there.
Re #3. Yep! I have 7 more injections to go and then I’m going to have a clexane closing out party where I just stare at my stomach for about 3 hours lovingly and whisper ‘it’s okay baby’ to my navel. It’s gonna be sweet.
Re abs, I’m not allowed to do any exercises on my stomach at all for 3 months apparently while the muscles knit back together. It’s a hot, scarred mess down there- I’m thinking spanks for life. The gurdle type, not the other spank. But yes, on the ever increasing list of ‘when I’m a bit better’ is some kind of exercise, probably sit ups while eating soft cheese with my right hand and alternating crunches with a lunge for wine with my left. I jest. No wine for me. Unless it’s a special occasion like Tuesday, or it’s sunny. Okay I’ll stop now I’m just being silly.
By the way, having the light on is also practical, I have to do this weird slip and roll thing to get out of bed, impossible to do in the dark- and on my own. Getting up and down 5-10 times a night at the moment, it’s annoying me and my husband too. So it’s a combo of fear of darkness, personal injury and waking my husband. The light stays on for now.
I think it’s interesting about your singlet, I’m also going to sleep with a scarf on and a beanie/ my head and neck seem to be where I feel the cold most- no chemo either and haven’t done it before, wonder why that is?
I reckon your idea of the singlet and several layers for your bag is genius though, whatever you have to do to feel okay right? AND I saw your photo all dressed up looking Schmick as!
Im currently rocking a deathly grey tone as opposed to my usual blue-ish tone and weirdly scaley skin suit, so I’m now putting dressing up on my list of things to do
and investing in some decent moisturiser.
And hugs for my cancer kin- never karate kicks!
hope you’re enjoying your weekend, and making some music!
I haven't even been dressing up for my return to work. Jeans, shirt and trademark vest. And just after chemo cycle starts, I include some poorly styled warm gloves and big coat. Canberra winters. At the end of cycle, feeling better, looking healthier, but still can't manage a natural looking smile for the selfie. When they said they were rescheduling my interview, I had a panic because I thought they'd push it past the start of cycle 2. Fortunately, it was just at the end of cycle 1.
I must admit though, it was nice to dress down again after the interview. I guess my journey has taken that energy out of me. Feeling comfortable is my goal. My beard got a descent trim as well. I think it is suiting my bikie look, but my bike is unregistered now until after chemo and I plan to shave it then, so I won't be riding with the beard anyway.
I don't know how brave I've been feeling. Just going through with the things I need to do. Relying on all my coping mechanisms. Not sure it's enough. Certainly couldn't do this journey alone.
I have some song ideas, this one is a pick me up. It has mojo.
But maybe you need a sad song from Elton, which is designed to make you feel good.
Or maybe just sway to the way you feel and find your own song. I write many songs this way. Have a look at this photo. One of my favorite guitars. It sounds so mellow and sad. Perfect for writing sad songs. It's been in storage since before I moved house. I got it out last weekend and played for a few hours without a pick. Checkout the tarnish from the strings and the worn out fingernails. I needed to play out some sadness on the old girl. My fingers were in agony, but totally worth it.
Moisturiser! Moo Goo. Check them out online, they offer an Oncology pack. Deliver it cheaper than you can buy from a shop.
Getting up so often in the night. You make me feel like I'm sooking again. I worry about waking my wife. I'm still not working full time hours, but she hasn't stopped. So, pressure is on to keep her functioning. I hope your impact on hubby is minimal.
Post cancer diagnosis = celebrate every day. Tuesdays and sunny days especially.
Take care Ginger. We are keeping you and your family in our thoughts.
Hi Claire et al,
You might be sorry for asking for my thoughts. I have a tendency to go on and on about some (many) things. So strap yourself in for a rather long post – perhaps it should be posted in the Blogs section…
Learnings? Wow, talk about unconscious ignorance - so little awareness of what I didn't know about life, death, myself and those around me. Well diagnosis of cancer was one hell of a way to open my eyes to it all.
And bear in mind as you read this, I actually had a pretty easy time though my encounter with cancer. From the time that I entered that dark tunnel, my treatment was deemed curative rather than palliative. Two 9-week periods of chemo with a total gastrectomy in-between. No visible disfigurement other than cutting my hair off to disguise the loss of hair and the zipper line from the bottom of my sternum down to my navel. After the brief period of 9 months, I found myself emerging from the tunnel and back in the light again.
I guess the second biggest thing that I have learnt to appreciate is the importance of choosing my attitude each and every morning. I first learnt about this concept from the FISH! philosophy (look it up) back in the 90s. This is my new spin on it...
Essentially, we all have a finite lifespan. Some of us will live longer than others. Regardless, we don't know when our time will be up (well, not until it is too late). How many of my remaining days should I spend feeling sorry for myself and complaining about the cards that I have been dealt? Am I happy to be a passenger of my journey or do I want to be in the driver's seat?
So every morning when I woke up, and before I really become aware of what condition I was in, I tried to make a conscious decision about how I was going to approach the day. If I got it right, I would actively choose to be stronger than anything that can be thrown at me. Sometimes this worked and sometimes it didn't. But at least I started on the right foot. And if I didn’t manage to meet my own expectations, I had another chance to do better the next day, and the next, and the next.
But the most important thing that I have learnt is about communication - and this was from several perspectives.
Now as far as what I have learnt from this community:
Well that’s it from me for now. As I said at the beginning, this is all a bit “easy” for me because I had it so easy with my treatment. So take what I have written here with a couple of pinches of salt.
Hugs to everyone,
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