Hi Ash,
Just been having a quiet sob reading your posts. (I'm pretty fragile at the moment, in isolation away from my babies, but that's another story & this is about you!)
How are you going this morning? Hope you had a good nights sleep and that those beautiful memories came back to life in your dreams.
Have you had a go at your so called best friend? I found support in funny places and was amazed that the old best friend went MIA on me also. I let the silence go for a good 8 weeks before finally getting so sick of thinking / hurting about her and I rang and gave her a big piece of my mind. She apologized and cried, I didn't care much about her.. I realise now as much as I personally really miss our friendship it will never be the same again because the hurt went to deep and I can't fathom how some people can be so god dam selfish and insensitive to other people - other people who are supposed to be their nearest and dearest.. So anyway having a go cleared my mind a bit, she is still trying to right things but I'm happy to sit back and make no effort - too little too late hey..
A bloke who I went to school with died last year from cancer (27) I've always kept in touch with his older sister but were never really close, well since he died we have spoken regularly on the phone and just are a whole lot closer because I just kept checking in on her - she was so thankful and told me how a lot of her friends had dissapeared because it was too awkward and hard for them.. I couldn't believe it then and I remember thinking oh wow that really sux but im sure that wouldnt ever happen to me.. Ha. Fast forward six months and I am here. (& she is here for me now!)
I have far too much time this morning.. Isolation will do that won't it ha.. Feel like I could ramble all morning.
Anyway, don't know where you are all from but I'm here in Sydney and I can finally see sunshine out the window, wish I could get out there and soak it up, will go and have a shower and watch the sunshine out the window - Ash, I'll leave you with a little tale of my surrounds.. In concord hospital they have the isolation room in the geriatric ward (ha at first I thought shit why did they do that to me it sux enough to be in here - its really because the radioactive me cant hurt them) but It sure is actually giving me a giggle sometimes.. There's a gorgeous old bloke across the hall who is quiet as a mouse all day long but come night time he starts singing lalala lalala and he does it ALL night, that would be a bit annoying if it wasn't broken up by the little old lady in the next room who every hour or so starts chanting "no more singing, no more singing" and then because she is calling out to him another little old lady wakes up, who has reverted back to childhood it seems and she calls out to mummy.. I've launched out of bed a few times thinking one of my kids needed me!! It doesn't sound so funny writing it down but I'm sure I'd be singing lalala myself if it wasn't for the sounds of these beautiful old souls struggling along and dealing with their life's path..
Hope I've given you a little smile to start the sunny day.. I dont Know if it at all possible for you but i hope you can Go grab your wife and borek (borek- iPhone really?!) tell her rather that you love her and tell her to take you for a drive.. Sit in a park and just breathe.
