I feel so alone

[Shell83]

Hey Ash, how you going mate? Hope your doing ok, you've often been in my thoughts so I just thought I'd check back in.

[karinaa]

Dear Smelling the Roses, I also can relate to how you're feeling. I've recently been diagnosed and about to start treatment, and I am disapointed that life has taken this course right now. "Best friends" are keeping a distance, my sister behaves as though I have a bit of an ingrown toenail, and there is much talk of being positive. I live alone, and I am actually quite relieved about this for the peace and quiet you speak of. It's my first time on this siteand I want to thank you and others for helping me feel not so isolated in the way I'm feeling. Very best wishes, Karinaa,

[#3]

I know exactly how that feels! Too much info way too soon! Listen to your doctor, dont go searching for things that may not happen to you!

[Granny]

How are you xx

[Cat]

I don't know you but you are not alone. I am 58, have 8 grandkids, had (may still have if I get through this treatment) my dream job and whammy - my reflux problem is actually stage 4 incurable (but manageable??? Please explain???) cancer. This is not how I planned my life. Family  & friends want to rush to my side but they don't understand time is needed to digest this. My apparently well meaning sister told me that this is the path I have chosen - seriously?? Anger kicks in. So many feelings to work through but I am taking comfort from reading the many posts on this site - we are not alone in spirit. I am in to week 2 of treatment & praying those invasive cells are being hammered. I wish you all the best 

[Granny]

Hi, how are you?  Yes it is definitely not how we planned our lives.  Especially with our wonderful adored grandchildren.  How is your treatment going?  You need personal space to come to terms with your diagnosis.  Be kind to yourself.  It is probably even acceptable to be selfish.  I actually feel less guilty when I choose not to go to a gathering now.  

I am in a better place now, probably only because I just don’t go there.  Be positive.  Care less about little things.  Be thankful and we have plenty of time to deal with things when we have to.  I have been told that I have 2-5 years to live due to breast cancer that has mestatised to the bones and also stage 4.   

Once you you get used to the routine of treatment and get used to the diagnosis I hope it gets easier.  Don’t rush it.  I found out in March the severity and I have got used to it now,  good luck!!!

[Cat]

Hi Granny. I'm good thank you, only 2 weeks in to treatment but have a positive outlook however being told I have stage 4 still has the ability to reduce me to tears at times. 

Theres nothing one can say or do, we just have to make the most of our time hey & pray more treatment options become available. I never realised how many people are living with cancer, we saw a program on Today Tonight that said 1 in 2 Australians will be diagnosed, what an awful disease this is. 

We can now only create happy memories for others and make the most of our time with them.

Thank you for chatting with me 🙂

[LG]

Hi Locky,

When I found out about my diagnosis, It also shook my world and after a good long cry, I decided that Cancer wasn’t going to take the best of me (my happy spirit). Nearly every morning I find a guided meditation on youtube about being positive and it has helped. 

I also put together a playlist of my favourite uplifting songs that I love and I listen to it every day while I cook or get ready. 

Big hug 💕

[PhilPepper]

Hi,

Feeling alone was only one of my issues. I had many dark emotions. I actually needed to be alone. I didn't want to block people out, but I needed to find some me time and be alone with my thoughts. It was easier to cry when alone. But there were times when the loneliness was not my choosing. It was on a level where those closest too me could experience my fear and sense of being cheated.

Without getting results or updates, we had almost 2 weeks of uncertainty, thinking about worst case scenario versus moderate versus best. So much could happen, we didn't know which way things would go. It was a relief to get bad news from the surgeon, being better than no news. I think uncertainty was my biggest enemy. Things improved when I found a direction, we could weigh up risks and options. I still don't have an idea of how long I may live, but I decided I'm not going down without a fight. The fight has given me direction and it's enabled me to put family support behind achieving my goals.

I hope this helps you. The best suggestion I can offer is to write it down. If you can't write a song or a poem, just try journally. You don't have to share it but it might help you to sort it out in your head. Try writing a letter to a loved one who has passed. You might find you have a lot to tell them.

Cheers

[Cat]

Hey PhilPepper

I know what you mean about needing time alone to sort out emotions etc. I have had a major fallout with my sister due to her 'need' to be with me. It ended up with her shaking me (physically), yelling at me about how selfish I am and accusing me of being angry with everyone. Not the case, this was the day after my diagnosis, my husband and I were in shock and just asked her to leave us to cry and digest this. But no, she had to be there to 'support' me. 

I agree with you that getting the diagnosis was a relief - at least we knew for sure what we were dealing with. We have worked through the seven stages of grief and at the moment we are still in stage 6. It was hard having to leave my job (but also a relief - however I intend on returning to work eventually). Like you, I don't know how long I have, docs say anywhere from 6 months to 10 years so I am aiming for 15 years. I have faith that I will survive this, many have and I am going to be on that list.  We have vowed to keep our sense of humour, not take on board others negativity (like my sister who had me dead and buried because this apparently is the path I have chosen!!) & spend time with our children, grandchildren and supportive family & friends.  It's all about priorities at the moment