I was diagnosed terminal, & I'm grateful for every day that I've had. But there's a good side to knowing you will die sooner rather than later; actually a couple of good things.
1) You can design exactly how you want your funeral. I already have my bespoke coffin - sitting in my lounge room (you can see a pic of it on my home page if you go into my photos). Whereas if you die suddenly, your remaining family are in a position where they have to make all these pressing decisions about your funeral, trying to decide what you would have wanted, etc. If you get it all done now, you can sit back & relax, & your family won't have to go through all that turmoil when they will be upset & quite often, not in the frame of mind to make all the required decisions.
2) It changes you - you don't sweat the small stuff. It's quite liberating to not worry about things anymore. These days I just go along with the flow.
I am very fortunate, also, in that I tend not to worry about things, especially if I can't control them. I have a fabulous husband. He and I are both very realistic, but we talk & joke about everything, including my impending death. Talking, I think, is one of the best ways of coping. If you don't have a partner or family member/close friend who you can talk to about this, don't hesitate to ask to speak with a Social Worker or Counsellor, Pastor, someone from Lifeline, Beyond Blue or the Cancer Council. There are plenty of people who can help with depression, stress, anxiety etc, or if you just want to talk. You can be referred by your GP or Oncologist to see a Community Social Worker. They can be very helpful; & you can, of course, talk here as much as you need or want to.
New treatments are coming out all the time. If you happen to need treatment, "normal" chemo & radio therapy doesn't work on kidney cancer, so they use what's called targeted therapy. It's still a chemo, but it won't kill normal cells like the regular chemo does. It's targeted at the mutated cells.
You may be given Immunotherapy in the first instance, as it seems to have become the most beneficial of what is available. If that doesn't work, it will be an oral chemo where you take a tablet or two every day (depending on what they give you). But I'm jumping the gun a bit here - you might not need any treatment at all. 🙂
The muscle spasms must be horrible. I haven't suffered with any. What part of the body are they happening in? Are you working at the moment? Try to keep busy & exercise each day if you can. Exercise is very important, especially if you have treatment. It doesn't have to be strenuous, just keep moving.
Keep your water intake up as well. Because your kidney is impaired, it won't be flushing the toxins from your body as it should. Try to drink 2-3 ltrs of water every day. Warm water is better as it is digested quicker.
Sorry for the rather long post - sometimes I do tend to ramble a bit. 😏
Budgie
