tired of waiting. I never imagined it would be like this. Had a chest xray in early june. was then sent for CT scan which confirmed primary mass in right lung and various metastasis of various sizes in left lung. since then it has been wait wait waiting. Hospital appointments have had a biopsy and PET scan which were both inconclusive as I got an infection from biopsy and so the pet scan could be inacurate. the tissue sample from the biopsy was no good so I have to wait to have it all booked in again. Is this all normal? All this waiting I mean. Vicsta
Cancer is pretty insidious. It's a physical assault, but it also attacks you emotionally, psychologically and even socially. But yeah, learning to live with uncertainty is one of the worst things about it (and strongest lessons - I mean, in life, we - none of us - have surety or certainty, but we should all live like we do).
Another joyous little treasure in the basket of fun that is cancer ... is that the treatment can be as bad as the disease.
They do these 3 month scans, but the inflammation and nerve damage gives a pretty high rate of false positives.
I personally did my 3 month scan and was devastated to get an "inconclusive" result. I felt for sure, in my heart of hearts, that the treatment had not worked.
I was wrong. Re-scanning later ... all clear.
Then you move on to different types of uncertainty - like the fear of recurrence.
You get the all clear, then live with a concern that it's coming back (each year after treatment the odds stack more and more in your favour, but it's going to be a rest-of-life concern).
So yeah .. learning to live with anxiety, uncertainty, and find ways to make the most of the time and capabilities left to you .. that's a big part of it.
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