Oh Carl, I am so sorry about how you are feeling and yes, people just do not want to understand and, I learned something new a couple of days ago.
I run a forum for Cancer suffers in eBay and was telling my friend about it, she said she couldn't understand how I could do it, and just make sure I don't take on the suffering myself - HUH??? I have had cancer and lost both breasts and it is a very lonely experience.
Anyway, back to antidepressants. I have been taking them ever since that time and, in my experience it brings back balance in life.
It isn't a sin to take antidepressants and really I do think people make far too much of it, maybe afraid that we are all mad??? I don't know, but I can tell you it will make a huge difference to your outlook on life.
Go for it I say and don't worry about it. Your brain is not producing the chemicals it needs to keep you feeling normal due to all you have been through, the antidepressants will replace the missing chemicals and you will come back to being you again.