Moving on from treatment

[Melinda1405]

Hi everyone...............im new to this forum. I have had breast cancer this year, followed with chemo and radiation treatments. Finally finished everything on October 25th. YAY Now the next faze of Tamoxifen. I went through the chemo well when i look at others. I had lots of family and friends support and help. Radiation was somewhat easier bu not kind to the skin. I was brave,positive and did well through the whole process. Now I feel like I have fallen apart. Anybody else struggling with moving on. I find im angry , sad,frustarted,scared all at the same time. I dont know how to explain it to family and friends and push them away a bit trying to work it out in my own head. I work from home and have continued this through treatment. I walk my dog everyday. Have returned to gym and even taken up yoga. I am trying hard to do all the right things, but just cant stop this cancer scare controling my inner thoughts. I have a husband and 3 girls aged 18-16-11. They have been great thoughout everything , but now im just grumpy or sad. Not much fun for anyone here at the moment. :-( Anybody else struggler with this?

[samex]

hi Melinda. This is extremely common. If you search through here you will find many threads that have dealt with coming to terms with the 'new normal'. For me, it was possibly even harder than 6 months of chemo. The fundamental thing to remember is that YOU ARE NOT MAD!!! You are not ungrateful at being alive. You are perfectly normal. I waited some time (way too long) before I saw my GP and then a psychologist and medication and found constant help here in a variety of forums. Depression is very real post-treatment as suddenly you no longer have any control over what is happening. As awful as treatment is, at least you are DOING something.. and no-one else gets it even when they are being wonderfully supportive. If you have a good relationship with your GP, go and see him/her and possibly embark on counselling before it gets too much. My husband didn't want to know about my issues but if you are able to talk with your family, let them know what you are feeling as well. Surviving can be terribly hard. Please don't wait too long to seek some help. You would be surprised just how common your thoughts are. Take care, S

[Catherine251]

Hi, Well done on getting out of the other end of the treatment cycle. It sounds like you've been staying strong for so long that it's only once it's over are you allowed to breathe and relax. It's only natural that this is when the magnitude of what you've been through comes to the surface. Cancer is tough, and it doesn't matter how well you cope with it, it is an extremely stressful life event. Like you, I am a mother of 3 battling cancer. I am also continuing to work between chemo cycles. It is challenging but generally I am strong and positive. I had a little 'half way meltdown' last week, and wouldn't be surprised if I had another downer after completing treatment. It's an isolating experience, and not many people understand what is like. Talking to a psychologist helped affirm this for me. Hang in there, Catherine

[Sailor]

Hi Melinda Can I support what Samex has said. I understand that something like 60% of cancer patients will suffer some sort of depression. For most it will not be what is called clinical depression, but sadness, moodiness, flying off the handle. Talking to a psychologist is really really helpful, but most of us wait to long to do it. I know I did. Part of it is about making transitions and they are uncomfortable times. So see you GP and ask about seeing a psychologist through the medicare scheme. However, remember, life will never be the same again. You have been through a traumatic experience and you will live with that. I remember in a TV show some years ago, the cricketer Simon O'Donnell, twenty years afar his experience of lymphoma, saying that having cancer in your thoughts everyday is part of the life sentence of cancer. WE all live with it. You are not alone. Cheers Sailor He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea. Thomas Fuller .



[Melinda1405]

Hello to all that responded to my message - and thank you :-) Reading that I am not alone and that others have felt this way makes me feel a whole lot better. I have since spoken to my breast care nurse and she has given me some great advice and some information that has helped. Great DVD from Peter McCallum called -Just take it day to day. I have sat down and spoken with my husband and told him how i am feeling too. Although he is caring and reasurring , im not sure he fully understands. I am taking it day to day and at the moment Im feeling okay.I think coming to terms with the new you and the new life will take some getting used to. Just nice to know you can voice your concerns here and so many understand and just get it - thank you xx I have just had mum diagnosed with breast cancer too at 73 !! Damn that bastard of a disease. She is lucky and has had the lump removed, no nodes involved and will have radiation only. Shes a strong one and doing well. Bring on 2014 I say !!